


Everything I wanted; Everything I can't lose

by Zorro_sci



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Matt is the man without fear . . .unless Foggy is in danger, Mpreg, Omegaverse, lots of hurt then eventual comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 27,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6588754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorro_sci/pseuds/Zorro_sci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt never thought the night he and Foggy finally admitted their feelings would be followed by the day he started to slowly walk out of his life.  He also never foresaw what would happen the next time he saw him after he thought they were done for good . . .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In response to this prompt [on daredevil kink meme](http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/7552.html?thread=15787904#cmt15787904>on%20daredevil%20kink%20meme</a>)

_"Maybe it does . . . But I don't . . . I only ever needed my friend . . . The man I loved . . . But maybe he doesn't really exist . . . Maybe the Devil of Hell's Kitchen took his place. . . Or maybe he never existed at all . . . What do I know?_

Foggy's words haunted Matt as he heard the door click with echoing finality. How such a small sound could seem so ominous momentarily baffled him, but such thoughts were cut short when he realized what had just happened. 

It seemed so unreal. Last night he had everything he thought he could ever want. For a moment, Foggy was completely his in a way he had only ever imagined happening, and had never even dared hope for because it seemed so impossible.

Yet, last night, Foggy's tears had led to him desperately kissing Matt. 

Shocked, and trying not to take advantage even as he loathed to stop something he had wanted for so long, he had tried to talk Foggy down. 

"Whoa! Foggy, what are you doing? I know you're grieving, and you're upset but . . ." he spluttered.

"Shut up, Murdock. I know _exactly_ what I'm doing, and if you DARE use the term 'overly emotional omega' . . . . " Foggy growled in response.

"I wouldn't dare," he replied lifting his hands in surrender.

"Good! Because that's not what this is. 

I've loved you for _years_ , Matt. Ever since you walked into our dorm room. I might be grieving, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I feel. How I've always felt."

"But, Foggy, if you've felt this way for years, why now?"

"I was always afraid of ruining our friendship. I was scared. 

You know as well as I do that friendships between alphas and omegas are rare. The pheromones get in the way too often. 

But not with us. We've managed to have a great friendship, and I wasn't willing to risk that if I wasn't one hundred percent sure . . . But . . . 

It's just . . .something like this, it reminds us, no one is guaranteed tomorrow. So, I'm not waiting anymore. If you don't feel the same, I'll stop, and hopefully we'll find a way to stay friends. But if you do, get back over here and kiss me."

Matt was quick to comply. He leaned in, and kissed Foggy with all the passion he had hidden away for so many years. He got lost in the sensations of Foggy touching him, Foggy's lips against his, the taste of Foggy's tongue, Foggy's heart racing faster and faster as their kiss intensified. All his senses drank in every detail about Franklin Percy Nelson, and he was sure this was the closest to heaven he would ever find on earth.

They pulled back and rested their foreheads together, panting as the kiss broke.

"I should probably say, I love you too," Matt said breathlessly.

"I got that," Foggy panted back. "So, your place?"

"Are you sure we aren't going too fast?" he hedged.

"Did you miss the part where I said I've loved you for years? And if that kiss was anything to go by, I would say loving me isn't exactly a new development for you either. I think we've waited long enough."

"Well, no, it's not new, but are you sure . . ."

"I'm sure. I've been wanting this for a long time."

"Ok."

He couldn't deny Foggy, and if he was honest, he really wanted this too. So he led the other man back to his apartment, where he carefully took Foggy apart piece by piece, and then built him back up in a glorious rush of endorphins, only to do it all over again until they were both so exhausted they collapsed in a heap.

Then, something truly amazing happened. The sex had been great. Mind-blowingly good. But it paled in comparison to the moment Foggy reached over and grabbed onto Matt; tangling his limbs around him and resting his head against his chest after he planted a small kiss over his heart. 

It was a simple enough thing to do, and it was far from the first time one of his bed partners had held him, but with Foggy it was different. He was gentle, and almost reverent as he wrapped around Matt, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. The kiss was tender and sincere, and Matt felt his chest tighten with fondness. 

He wrapped his arms around Foggy, and silently swore that he would protect this man always. No matter the cost. His life would be a small price to pay for the safety of the best man he had ever known. A man whom he loved with all his heart, and was lucky enough to have love him back.

On the heels of that thought, his mind returned to Fisk. He had killed Elena. He wouldn't hesitate to kill again if someone got in his way, and Nelson and Murdock had done just that when they stood with the tenants in Mrs. Cardenas' building. That made Foggy a target, and he had just sworn to protect him. He couldn't let Fisk hurt him. He had to stop him, and he would. By any means necessary.

With that in mind, Matt sneaked out of bed and donned his black clothes and mask. He had a pretty good idea where Fisk was going to be. He would take him out of the equation. He'd make him pay for what he had done to Elena, and make sure that Foggy was safe. Little did he know, that by trying to protect what he held most dear, he was setting himself up to lose it.


	2. Chapter 2

Foggy can't remember the last time he cried this much. Maybe never. Last night he was mourning Sra. Cardenas, and his tears had seemed endless. Now, he's grieving the loss of everything he thought could be between him and Matt with bitter, wracking sobs that he can't seem to stop.

Next to him, his phone starts buzzing again. Matt is nothing if not persistent. He's called twice an hour, every hour, since Foggy left. How long will it take him to get a hint?

He reaches over to hit ignore, but for a moment his resolve crumbles, and his hand hovers over the button. Maybe he should just let him explain . . .No! He already gave him a chance! He let him explain, and all he did was ramble on about how the city needed him. _His city_ , the nerve!

That, and he admitted that he had been lying to him for years! Since they first met! Why should he listen to anything he said! No, it was better to limit themselves to just being business partners now. It might hurt, but it would hurt less than letting himself get close and then losing Matt when his vigilantism finally got him killed. Or trying to start something with Matt, only to have him replaced piece by piece by the masked man, until one day he realized that the man he loved was gone and he was living with a stranger. (Though he honestly wasn't sure that hadn't already happened.)

No, this was better. This would keep him safe. It had to.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 _First, I lost Matt. We can hardly be in the same room anymore. If fact, other than that fight we had, and when we interviewed that guy who helped take down Fisk, we haven't been in the same room for more than two minutes . . .and now I get the worst flu I've ever had. What did I do to upset the universe? Why does it hate me?_ Foggy wondered as he heaved for the umpteenth time that morning. Just as he had every day that week. 

It wasn't just the nausea that was driving him crazy. He was exhausted all the time, he ached all over, and he was oversensitive to everything. Especially smells. 

He was reminded of this once again, after his stomach settled and he opened his fridge to get a bottle of water. The door was only opened a crack, when he gagged as the smell of leftover Chinese assaulted his senses. He knew it wasn't bad yet, and he had enjoyed eating it just last night when he had thought, for a few hours, that this flu was finally behind him. But now, even the slightest whiff of it had him running back to the bathroom.

He would throw it away, but removing it to anything less than the dumpster outside didn't seem like it would help; and he was just too exhausted to go all the way down to the dumpster. He would just have to avoid his fridge as much as possible. Just like he was avoiding a certain blind lawyer . . . No! He was not going to think about Matt.

Matt wasn't worth his time. You can't tell your best friend you love them, having life-altering sex with them, then sneak out and leave them alone in bed while you go out to be a vigilante and return half-dead a few hours later. You can't go from "I love you" to contemplating murder in the same night. Even if you claim it's for the person you love's safety. Some things are just not okay! There is no justification for things like that!

To think, Foggy had wanted to spent the rest of his life with Matt! To bond with him! Foggy had been ready to give Matt everything, after years of claiming he didn't need an alpha, and dating only betas. He had even been prepared to have Matt's babies!

If any other alpha had tried to get anywhere near him, especially during his heat, he would have cut their knot off. He was far too busy being a kick-ass lawyer to have time for pregnancy, and all that other domestic stuff that people expected from omegas. He was no house omega, and pregnancy looked far too uncomfortable to be worth it. 

Yet, with Matt it would have been different. He couldn't deny that the thought of a child that was half him and half Matt had been appealing. A little boy or girl with his blue eyes and sense of humor, and Matt's dark hair and warm smile. For a child like that, he would be willing to brave morning sickness, and backaches, and . . . .shit! He couldn't be . . . . He was on birth control, and he hadn't been in heat when he and Matt . . . But maybe?

Fueled by panic, he practically ran the three blocks to the drugstore, despite his exhaustion. He bought three pregnancy tests, (just to be extra sure), and a six pack of Gatorade, and then hurried back to his apartment.

An hour, three and a half bottles of fruit punch Gatorade, and three plus signs later, Foggy stood shaking in his bathroom. How could this have happened? The universe _definitely_ hated him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: very brief discussion of abortion

"Is he in today?" Matt asked anxiously as he walked into the office.

"'Good morning, Karen. How are you?' 'Good morning, Matt. I'm fine, thanks for asking.'"

"I'm sorry. Good morning. How are you?"

"I'd be better if my bosses weren't in the middle of some sort of feud, and no, Foggy's not in today."

"He called in sick again?"

"Illness does happen, Matt."

"So you don't think he's just avoiding me?"

"Oh, he's definitely avoiding you . . .but I stopped by his apartment last night, and he's also definitely sick."

"It's been a week . . .shouldn't he be better by now? Do you think I should go check on him?"

"I don't know, Matt. He seemed pretty adamant about not wanting to talk to you, or even talk about you. As soon as I brought you up, he just shut down.

I'm not quite sure what's going on between you two, but I think showing up unannounced and uninvited might not be the best thing you can do right now. Maybe try calling him?"

"I think he blocked my number."

"Really?!? What did you do to him?"

"Why do you assume I . . .okay . . .I just can't talk about it. Sorry, Karen."

"Eventually you guys need to figure something out. You run a business together, and right now you can't even be in the same room. How is Nelson and Murdock supposed to survive without both Nelson and Murdock?"

"I'm not sure . . .maybe it won't."

"Matt . . ."

"No, like you said, he doesn't want to see me. He won't answer my calls. He couldn't be much clearer about his intentions."

"Maybe he just needs some time to calm down?"

"Maybe . . ."

Matt let the word trail off, and went into his office. Even as he hoped Karen was right, he was pretty sure she wasn't. His fight with Foggy had been around a month ago.

After Foggy's harsh words, and his injuries from his fight with Nobu, he had stayed away from the office for three days. He maybe should have stayed out longer given how severe his wounds were, but if he was honest, he would have gone back to work the next day and fought through the pain if it hadn't been for the even greater pain in his heart.

Then he returned, and he and Foggy had thrown themselves single-mindedly into bringing down Fisk for nearly two weeks. During that time, they were never in the same room if they could avoid it. At least after that time they tried to talk, and ended up screaming at each other for over two hours; until Karen had returned from her long lunch and they had tried to pretend nothing had happened. Then, shortly after they brought Fisk down, and Matt had dared to hope things might return to normal, Foggy had started calling in sick.

It was beginning to look like things were never going to get any better between him and Foggy, and that hurt. It made it almost impossible for Matt to breathe. It lingered over him like a dark cloud, and sat like a weight on his chest.

Maybe Stick was right. Maybe love and attachments made you weak. But he had always thought Foggy made him better. How was he suppose to go on without him?

Tears streaked down Matt's face as he realized he was probably going to have to find out; and if that night, the newly dubbed "Daredevil" threw a few more punches than necessary to vent his frustration, no one needed to know why. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After he found out he was pregnant, Foggy was torn about what to do. Part of him wanted to tell Matt. It was his child after all. Didn't he have a right to know? Another part wanted to run as far away as possible. Matt was a vigilante. He put his life, and the lives of those closest to him, at risk on a regular basis. That was no way for a kid to grow up. Constantly afraid their dad was going to die. Always at risk of being targeted out of revenge.

In the end, Foggy decided it was best to make a clean break from Matt. He called in a favor with Marci, and got an interview with one of the more progressive law firms she had connections with. (He wasn't showing yet, but it was only a matter of time before people started noticing that he was pregnant. He was going to be a single father. He couldn't afford to work for one of those firms stuck in the dark ages that had never even heard of paternity leave, much less omega rights, and would dismiss him the second they knew he was with child. Being unbonded and pregnant was likely to draw enough stares and attention no matter where he went.) 

Thankfully he got the job, so he called Karen and told her he was leaving the firm. She insisted that he talk to Matt himself, but he refused. Her voice started screaming at him down the phoneline, accusing him of being selfish and cowardly, until he distantly heard Matt telling her it was okay. She was starting to argue that it really wasn't, when the call was cut.

Maybe she was right. Maybe he was a coward. The thought hurt for a second, but then he let it go. Coward or not, he was doing what he had to do. He only wished it wasn't such a lonely path.

A week later, he took Marci out to lunch as a thank you, and he found himself confiding in her about his pregnancy. He wasn't quite sure why he was talking about it with Marci, but he needed to talk to someone.

"I can't believe you're pregnant, Foggy bear," she commented. "The Foggy I knew in college wasn't ever going to let himself be bred."

"Yeah, well, it took me by surprise too," Foggy said grimly.

"And it's Murdock's kid, right?" she asked, even though her inflection made it sound more like a statement.

"How did you . . ."

"Oh please. As if you'd let any other alpha touch you. . . .my only question is, why aren't the two of you disgustingly happy and preparing to bond? I thought that if you ever stopped your pining long enough to get together, then that would be the one that stuck."

"Yeah, well, Matt made a different choice."

He couldn't help but think bitterly about the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, or Daredevil, or whatever they were calling him now.

"See, I still can't wrap my head around that. You know I'm not Murdock's biggest fan or anything, but even I have a hard time believing he would abandon his child."

"What can I say? Matt's full of surprises."

"Well, if that's the kind of alpha he is, then you're better off."

"Of course. Because why wouldn't I be better off as an unbonded, single parent? That's such an easy lifestyle!"

"Foggy bear . . . "

"Sorry, Marci, it's just a lot to take in."

"You know you don't have to do this. There are other options available if you're not ready."

Foggy froze. He'd never even thought about that. All his life, he'd been a staunch supporter of an omega's right to choose, but when he got pregnant, the thought never even crossed his mind. Just thinking about it now, made him feel a little sick.

"I couldn't," he said shaking his head sharply. "I'm terrified by the thought of having this child, but I can't even consider not having it. I just . . . "

"Understood," Marci replied with uncharacteristic gentleness.

Maybe telling her wasn't such a mistake after all.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why are you hiding your pregnancy?" Marci asked pointedly as she gestured with her fork at Foggy's loose clothing and buttoned up jacket that concealed the slightly increased swell of his abdomen.

She's been the only constant in Foggy's life for the past few months. Their weekly lunches something solid for Foggy to cling to in the uncertain seas that his life had become. It was weird, but he was really grateful for her.

"I'm not hiding it. I'm just not drawing attention to it," Foggy countered.

"Same thing," she dismissed. "Besides, don't your bosses need to know to schedule your paternity leave and everything?"

"They do know. I'm just not advertising my baby bump to clients, opposing counsel, and office busybodies. It's really none of their business. 

Besides, if they knew, all they'd do is gossip about why I wasn't bonded and who 'knocked me up.'"

"But think about how your brazen behavior, standing up pregnant and unbonded in a courtroom, would throw the other team off their game."

"And the jury . . . . Look, as appealing as using my unborn child to distract opposing counsel is, I think I'd rather win on my own merit." 

"You're no fun. . . But in all seriousness, you're not going to be able to hide forever, Foggy Bear."

"I know," he agreed with a sigh.

It wasn't that Foggy was ashamed, he wasn't, but when his pregnancy went from being a secret between him and a select few, to common knowledge that would make it feel more real. Not that it wasn't already, but it would be one more transition. One more change.

It wasn't even a bad change. Just like many of the other changes in his life. He loved his new job. He was successful in his work, and being trusted with increasingly important cases. He was able to move to a slightly bigger, less rat-infested apartment, (which was probably a good idea for when the baby came). Furthermore, he was over Matt, and completely accepted that he was out of his life and it was for best. 

Okay, that last one was a lie, but he really was trying. Maybe if he managed to do that, the pain in his chest would be less excruciating when he heard about Daredevil, or something reminded him of Matt, or his thoughts wandered to how he wished he could share something that happened with the baby. A couple days ago, when he felt the baby kick for the first time, he had cried for three hours straight. It had taken everything in him not to get in a cab and go to Matt's apartment. He wasn't quite sure what his plan was once he got there, they hadn't spoken in nearly four months, but it seemed important that Matt be a part of something like that.

Yet every time the guilt of keeping Matt out of their child's life almost overwhelmed him, he reminded himself what was at stake. The little life inside of him deserved to be protected. He _needed_ to keep his child safe. No matter what the cost. No matter how much it broke his heart. No matter how tough it would be to be a single parent. 

Matt would be a great father, but Daredevil would not. Since he couldn't have one without the other, he would just have to do without. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was the best choice, for everyone. It kept him and his baby safe by distancing them from a vigilante, and it gave Daredevil less weak spots that his enemies could exploit.

If only it were that simple, but life was about to show him otherwise.


	5. Chapter 5

Nelson and Murdock without Nelson was like an empty shell. Despite what anyone else thought, Matt knew that Foggy was the heart of the practice. Without its heart, Nelson and Murdock, turned just Murdock, wasn't really worth keeping open. If it hadn't been for Karen urging and wheedling him to keep things running, he would have closed the doors the day after Foggy left.

The practice wasn't the only thing empty without Foggy. Matt was too. He walked around feeling like his chest was as hollow as the tin man. He tried to lose himself in what had become nightly, and ever longer, patrols as Daredevil, but it didn't make much difference. No matter how hard he punched, or how many drug lords, and thieves, and human trafficker, and would-be rapists he brought down, he still felt empty. Usually even more so, because as he felt his bloody knuckles, he couldn't help but think how disappointed Foggy would be in him.

Still, he couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop. The city needed him, and while it hurt to know that Foggy would hate him a little bit more each time he went out, (that is if Foggy ever even spared a thought for him anymore), he had a job to do. People counted on Daredevil to keep them safe. To keep evil off the streets. So, every night, no matter how banged up he was from the previous night, he went out and he patrolled the city.

On one such patrol, he heard a familiar voice. One that had been had been reproaching him in his dreams when he actually slept, but he welcomed anyway, even its imagined form, because he had missed it so much.

" . . . Don't have to do this . . . .all walk away . . . Win-win-win, right?"

Matt was instantly on alert. Foggy was clearly trying to talk someone down, and his forced easy-going tone did nothing to conceal his fear. 

Before he could even think, Matt was taking off at a run across the rooftops. He needed to get to Foggy. He needed to get to him now.

 _Thunk!_ A heavy blow echoed through the air, followed by a soft grunt. Then more blows, each with an accompanying hitched breath, grunt or swallowed groan.

No! He had to stop this!

Matt had almost reached them, but he was going into the fight anything but prepared. His attempts to determine how many assailants there were, (Two? Three? Four? No, three?), or what they were using as weapons, (Bats? Pipes? Did someone just open a knife?), were futile. He couldn't concentrate on anything except that pained noises Foggy was making, the smell of Foggy's blood tainting the air, and the frantic beating of Foggy's heart, (pounding so violently it was accompanied by the discordant rushing of his blood, which seemed to have a rhythm almost all its own).

He leapt into the fray anyway, jumping without hesitation in front of Foggy, who was huddled up against a building. Then, and only then, was he able to zero in on Foggy's attackers. And when he did, his fury took over; narrowing his focus to nothing but causing these three people as much pain as possible.

One of them tired to charge Daredevil, but he was driven viciously into the ground with untamed rage. The other two received the same treatment. In no time at all, the three thugs were down for the count, but Daredevil showed no signs of stopping. He continued to pummel the last man to fall, his hand wrapped tightly around his neck as he pile-drove his fist into his face.

"Daredevil, don't . . ." Foggy tried weakly.

He got no response. It wasn't that Matt didn't hear him exactly, but his words barely registered through his trance. These men hurt Foggy. They beat him. They made him bleed. They _deserved_ to die, he reasoned as he landed a second blow.

"Daredevil! I'm hurt. I need help," he stated, trying a new tactic.

Now that got Matt's attention. He froze with his fist mid-punch, loosened his hand that was around the downed man's throat, and turned toward the other man, tilting his head as he concentrated.

Foggy was bleeding from at least three different places, though the exact location of the wounds was hard to pinpoint without touching him. He also had several cracked ribs and a couple broken ones, creaking and grinding with every too quick breath he took. His heart was still frantically racing too, but the beat was growing weaker, even as it did nothing to slow. It's hummingbird fast twin, (a fetal heartbeat, not the rush of Foggy's blood as he had assumed earlier), showing distress just as clearly . . . Wait, Foggy was pregnant?

"You're pregnant?!?" Matt blurted.

"Yeah," Foggy replied breathlessly.

"How far along are you?" he queried urgently, (was this _his_ baby? It maybe wasn't the right time for such a question, but Matt just couldn't hold back).

"About four months," he replied weakly.

Four months! That meant . . .

"So the baby is . . ." Matt started.

"Yours," Foggy finished, the single word seeming to cost him a Herculean effort.

 _Why didn't you tell me!_ Matt wanted to scream. That, or loose any of the other dozen questions he had, but as Foggy's and the baby's distressed heartbeats reached his ears, he realized anything he had to say would have to wait. All the evidence said Foggy was going into shock. There would be time for talking later. Right now they needed to get help.

"Don't worry, help is coming," Matt soothed ineffectually, not knowing whether or not what he said was true.

"Okay . . ." came the weak reply; trailing off as he lost consciousness.

Matt's breath caught, and for a moment he was tempted to finish off the men on the ground who had dared to do this to Foggy when he was pregnant, (and in so doing threaten the life of his child). He nearly did, but knew Foggy would hate that. Besides, Foggy needed his attention right now, so he knelt next to him, and he cursed himself for not thinking to call an ambulance before he jumped into the fight. If he called now, it could easily be fifteen or more minutes before they arrived. But what was the alternative? He could carry Foggy to the hospital, but that might take just as long AND it risked worsening his injuries. That wasn't a chance he could take.

As Matt's mind spun nearly out of control searching for alternatives, he slowly came to realize that several sirens were already approaching them. Police, and at least one ambulance. One of the neighbors must have called for help, (thank God!).

Now he had another decision to make. Should he stay with Foggy and risk getting arrested, (the three men laying beaten nearly to death certainly was damning evidence), or should he run to avoid the police and leave him hurt and alone? 

His heart protested against leaving Foggy alone, but if he went to jail, he wouldn't be able to be there for him anyway. The smart choice was to run, his mind supplied. He could go home, change, and then meet Foggy at the hospital. It was the most logical choice, but it didn't make it any easier for him to move. In fact, he found that he was glued to his spot next to him until the running footsteps of the arriving first responders were only a few steps away.

Then he bolted, feeling guilty with every step he took away from Foggy, but comforting himself with the thought that all he needed to do was go home and change. Then he'd be able to see Foggy again. He'd get home, and he'd get a call from the hospital, (he was Foggy's emergency contact after all), and then he could rush down to see him without drawing any unwanted attention.

He was all the way back to his apartment before he realized he might not be getting a call at all. Foggy had broken ties with him in all other aspects of his life. He hadn't even told him he was pregnant with his child. What made him think he'd kept him as his emergency contact? He'd probably changed it back to his parents, or named someone else, (did he have a new best friend? A significant other? Someone else he was planning on raising his baby with? Surely not yet . . ? But maybe, he thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach), and if he didn't get a call, and he just showed up at the hospital would that be suspicious? Surely not, he was the father of Foggy's child, right? It shouldn't be a surprise that he would be there. But . . .Would Foggy even want him there? Did that matter? Didn't Matt have a right to be there since his child was at stake? Then again, would Matt's presence upset him, and do more harm than good? The last thing he wanted to do was put Foggy or the baby in more danger. Then again, maybe Foggy would be expecting him? He had to know Matt wouldn't just abandon him, especially after he had just learned he was carrying his child.

Matt sighed, running a hand over his face. When did things get so complicated?

 _When you decided to put on a mask and roam the city beating people up,_ Foggy's imagined voice supplied in his head.


	6. Chapter 6

"Franklin Nelson?" Matt inquired at the reception area in the hospital.

The worker behind the desk tapped a few keys on her computer before she responded.

"Mr. Nelson is still in surgery, please take a seat in our waiting room."

 _Still in surgery._ How bad was it? Matt found himself frozen to his spot as fear gripped him like an icy hand around his heart.

He heard the movement of the woman behind the desk lifting her head, and preparing to speak. Her jerky movements seemed annoyed, and she was probably ready to tell Matt off for lingering, when she suddenly stilled. 

"There's a hallway to your left. The waiting room is behind the first door on the right side," she said gently, the sudden change in her demeanor the seeming result of seeing Matt's glasses and cane.

"Thank you," he answered, forcing himself to get moving.

 _Foggy will be okay. He has to be. Everything will be fine._ He told himself firmly. If only thinking it could make him believe it.

In the waiting room, Matt took a seat, and started fidgeting unsure what to do. He considered calling Karen, but quickly dismissed the idea. Foggy hadn't spoken to her in months. She had no idea he was pregnant, and this hardly seemed like the time for her to find out. Besides, maybe Matt was still a little mad at her for all the nasty things she had said about Foggy since he left the firm. 

When Foggy had first left she had gone on and on about how selfish and cowardly Foggy was, despite Matt's many attempts to stop her, (it was Matt's fault Foggy left. He deserved the blame, and even if he didn't no one got to bad-mouth Foggy. Especially not within Matt's hearing range.). Since then, she had made several less-than-kind, muttered comments about him as they worked to keep the firm open. After all her harsh words, Matt didn't really want her around right now.

Matt sighed and twisted his cane between his hands. Unable to wait any longer, he tried to concentrate his senses and listen, but he couldn't find Foggy's heartbeat. There was too much noise. Why couldn't he filter through the noise? Was he just too nervous, or was . . .

"What are you doing here?" a grating voice screeched from directly in front of him, pulling him from his terrible thoughts.

"Marci," he returned coolly after he placed her voice, (it took a lot longer than it should have, but he had reason to be distracted). 

"That was not a rhetorical question, Murdock. I repeat, what the hell are you doing here?" Marci shouted angrily.

"Why do think I'm here?!?" Matt bit back irritably. "Foggy's hurt! The person I care about most in this world was attacked and beaten. He had to be rushed into surgery after he was left bleeding in an alleyway. Where else would I be?!?"

Tears sprang to his eyes, and he was fighting to keep his breath from dissolving into sobs, but Marci just sneered and laughed humorlessly.

"Don't you think it's a little late for all of that 'person I care about most in the world' stuff? You rejected Foggy! You abandoned him! . . .while he was pregnant with your child, no less! So, please spare me the tearful, worried alpha act."

Matt flinched at her words, their impact like a blow to his chest.

"Foggy said that I rejected him? . . .that I abandoned him?" he said hoarsely, his tone disbelieving.

"Not in so many words, but it's obvious," she scoffed. "I've gotta say Murdock, you know I've never had the highest opinion of you, but even I was surprised that you could do that to him. You completely broke his heart."

"I . . . ." he started, unsure of what to say next.

"Should leave," Marci said firmly. "Foggy's been through enough. He doesn't deserve to be hurt again, and that's all you'll do to him. Leave."

Matt considered arguing. That was his baby and his . . . Foggy . . . in there, and he needed to know they were okay. He _needed_ to hear that they'll be fine. He felt like it might tear him apart if he didn't. How could he leave before he knew?

But his protests were halted in their tracks by the echo of Marci's accusations. 

_You rejected Foggy! You abandoned him!_ . . . _even I was surprised_ . . . _ **Rejected** . . . . **abandoned** . . . Broke his heart . . . _

If that was truly how Foggy felt about him; if he felt like he had been rejected, then maybe he should stay away. Maybe he would only cause Foggy more hurt and pain, and that was the last thing he wanted. So, with that in mind, he rose from his chair and left.

He didn't get far. Matt wanted to respect Foggy's wishes, but he couldn't just leave. He was not selfless enough to live with the uncertainty. It was eating him alive, a gnawing ache in his chest that came from not knowing if his Foggy was dead or alive, safe or still in danger. He couldn't do it; it was too painful. So, he climbed up to the roof and waited, hoping that he would be able to hear whatever the doctors told Marci. Praying that they had good news, fearing what would happen if they didn't, and keeping watch just in case. It was all he could do.


	7. Chapter 7

Matt sneaked into Foggy's hospital room as silently as he could, which having been trained by a ninja, was pretty quietly. His perch on the roof had only offered so much comfort. It had allowed him to hear the doctor declare that Foggy was out of surgery and that he and the baby were stable, though they would be keeping a close eye on them due to Foggy's laundry list of injuries and the severe blood loss he had suffered as a result of said list. A statement, that when paired with Foggy's heartbeat becoming audible again as he left the operating room, (what type of sounding-proofing did they use in their ORs anyway?), allowed Matt to breathe easier for the first time in hours.

It wasn't enough though. He needed to feel the warmth of Foggy's body near him. He needed to be close enough that he could hear the softer, less familiar beat of their baby's heart. He needed to be able to sense the disturbance in the air caused by Foggy drawing breath. 

Besides, he had also heard Marci thank the doctor and then leave, without so much as asking to see Foggy. That meant Foggy was alone, and that really bothered him. It also made him a little mad at Marci, though he knew he had little right to judge. He was the one who had let Foggy leave his life without objection; Marci had at least been there for him. He shouldn't fault her for not wanting to hold an unconscious man's hand through the night. Especially when they had stressed that visiting hours were over in an attempt to avoid her lingering. She shouldn't be faulted for declining to see Foggy when she was hardly the type who thought her presence would make any difference when he was unconscious. Matt knew that. Yet he knew in his heart that he still held it against her.

Foggy had been through enough. He shouldn't have to be alone. Not even for a moment. He had always hated being alone when he was sick, (in college he used to pitifully beg Matt not to leave for anything but his classes, and since he had loved him even then, he had usually complied), so Matt would make sure he wasn't alone now. He would stay by his side until he awoke, and even then, he would stay until Foggy asked him to leave, (which he knew could easily be the moment after he regained consciousness). 

Settled in the hard plastic chair, and slightly overwhelmed by the smells and sounds of hospital, Matt zeroed in what was important. He took in every little sign of life that Foggy was giving, and let everything else fade into the background. Then, he hesitantly reached out and grabbed Foggy's hand. The contact grounded him even as he felt slightly guilty for presuming that he had any right to touch Foggy after not so much as speaking to him for nearly three months.

The guilt didn't stop him though. Not from taking his hand. Not from running a hand down his cheek, and brushing his hair out of his face. Not from placing a soft kiss above his brow. 

For a moment, with Foggy's hand held tightly between his, all he could feel was relief. In that moment, there was no fight. There was nothing between. No secrets or lies or walls built up against each other. There was just Matt and Foggy. Together like they should be. Ideally with less injuries, but together nonetheless.

Then the moment faded. It was replaced by guilt and fretting. By worrying what would become of them, and of their child. By the reality that Foggy hadn't spoken to him in three months. That he had never even told him he was pregnant with his child. That by the looks of things, he never had any intention of letting Matt know. 

Was he planning on raising their child alone? Was he going to put the child up for adoption? Would his plans change now that Matt knew? Would he offer to let Matt be a part of his child's life? Would he ask him to stay away? Or worse, would he run away from Matt in hopes of cutting ties for good?

There were too many questions. Too much between them. Too many hurts.

So Matt sat, and fretted, holding Foggy's hand like a lifeline. Trying to find comfort in the fact that even with all the uncertainty between them, Foggy was _alive_ to face that uncertainty with him. That wasn't something that had been guaranteed even a few hours ago.

"Matt?"

He turned toward Foggy's weak voice and tightened his grip on his hand.

"Yeah, buddy. I'm here."

"Why?" 

The simple rasped question was like a dagger to his heart, because Foggy sounded genuinely puzzled by Matt's presence.

"You . . .you were attacked . . ."

"I remember."

"You were . . .you're hurt, Foggy. Where else would I be?"

"I don't know . . .out beating people up in a mask?"

"Foggy . . . "

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"That's not fair."

"No, what's not fair Matt, is that after we had sex for the first time I woke up to an empty bed. Not even an empty bed, an empty apartment. At first I thought maybe you got up to go the bathroom, or get a midnight snack, or whatever, but no. You weren't there. I check the whole apartment, including the roof."

"I was . . ."

"I thought you freaked out. I thought you decided the whole thing was a mistake, and wanted to get away from your mistake, from _me_ , so badly that you left _your own_ apartment to avoid me."

"Foggy . . ."

"I was so embarrassed, and hurt. I kept thinking that you should have just told me . . .but I could take a hint, so I got dressed, and I was going to leave."

"No, Foggy . . . I would never . . . "

"Then you stumbled in the window half-dead, and I found out that everything between us had been a lie. I almost wish you had just decided sex with me was a mistake and ran. I think it would have been less painful."

Matt sat in stung silence for a few beats; trying and failing to come up with something to say.

"I'll go tell them you're awake. I'm sure they'll want to check on you," he told Foggy evenly as he stood to leave the room.


	8. Chapter 8

"Your blood pressure is still a little low, but other than that, your vitals are looking good. We'll send someone from OB to check on the baby in the morning, and you'll probably have to 'suffer through' a few other tests, but for now you should try to get some rest," the doctor said cheerfully.

"Thanks," he remarked flatly, (he knew she was going for levity, but her overly bubbly tone was annoying, and he didn't think using 'suffer' jokingly was ever really in good taste).

"No problem. I'll go tell your alpha he can come back in," she replied off-handedly.

"My what?" Foggy replied in confusion.

"Your alpha. Don't worry. No one's going to judge because you're not bonded," the doctor placated.

"Good to know . . . ." ( _Because that was exactly what I was worried about . . ._ )

Foggy watched the doctor leave, strained his ears to hear her whisper in the hall, (but still wasn't able to make out what she said), and then waited expectantly for Matt to return.

"Oh good, 'my alpha' has returned," Foggy spoke up sarcastically when Matt walked back in the door.

Matt stopped short just inside the threshold, but didn't speak, so Foggy continued.

"Mind telling me when you became 'my alpha' Matt. . .because I'm confused. You'd think I'd remember something like that."

"It was the only way they'd let me stay. It's way past visiting hours."

"So you lied again! Great! Because that's just what we needed, more lies!"

"Foggy . . ." Matt implored as he took a few steps closer.

"Why is it so important to you that they let you stay anyway?"

"How can you ask that?"

"Three months, Matt. We haven't spoken in three months, and _now_ you suddenly can't stand to be away from me?"

"It's not like I didn't think of contacting you everyday, but you're the one who left. You clearly wanted space, so I tried to give it to you."

"'Tried?'"

"I might have gone to your new place of work a couple of times, but I always talked myself out of it before I went through the front door. I also may have stopped on the fire escape of your apartment one night. Well, your old apartment. 

I left after less than a minute. I knew the heartbeat inside didn't belong to you."

"So you stalked me? Right. Because things weren't screwed up enough already without you becoming a crazy stalker on top of everything else."

"It might not have been the best choice, but we weren't talking! After ten years of seeing each other almost everyday, you were just suddenly gone!

And you don't think you have any responsibility in this whole mess!? You didn't even tell me you were pregnant!"

"Why is that any of your business?!?"

"Because it's my baby too! I deserved to know!"

"So any alpha who gets an omega pregnant deserves to know about it; no matter what the circumstances? 

Would you say the same thing if the father of my child were someone I randomly hooked up with from some bar? A one-night stand I hadn't seen since?"

"That's beside the point! That's not what happened, and you would never sleep with some random alpha, so even talking about this theoretically is ridiculous!"

"Are you sure?" 

"What?!" 

"Are you sure I wouldn't hook up with some random alpha? . . .say, a kind stranger from Josie's who I met while drowning my sorrows in tequila." 

"Foggy . . ." 

". . . Because if that had happened, you would think that I should track down the alpha who impreganted me to tell him, right? Give him the chance to be in our child's life?"

"Don't be absurd!"

"Why would that be absurd? It would be his baby too. Wouldn't he have the right to know?"

"That would be different! 

If it was just a one-night stand, you would know next to nothing about the guy! You would have no idea what kind of man he was, or what his intentions were! 

He could be dangerous! He could hurt you, or the baby! He could be controlling or neglectful. Just because he provided sperm wouldn't make him a father in anything but the biological sense!"

"Exactly!"

"What?!?" 

"That's why I didn't tell you!

You and I had a one-night stand! We've barely spoken since then! And apparently I don't know you any better than some random stranger I could have picked up!"

Cold silence fell between them for a few moments, filled only with the slightly accelerated beeping of the machines monitoring Foggy's vitals, (Matt briefly wondered if he should be worried). 

"That's really unfair! You can't really believe that! Don't be ridiculous, Foggy! You know me! 

You know I have good intentions, and that I would take care of you and our baby! You have to know that!" Matt cried when he regained his voice.

"Do I really?" Foggy scoffed. "The Matt I thought I knew believed in the law. He quoted Thurgood Marshall an annoying number of times, but he truly believed what he said with all his heart. 

He wanted to go out and fight the good fight _legally_ , with me by his side as his partner. 

He wanted to take on the world, and probably get crushed, but he wanted to do it _together_. 

This other Matt, the one who keeps secrets, and, and who I apparently was always laid bare before, whether I wanted to be or not; the one who knew every lie I told, while he lied to me daily. . . . . .the one that sleeps with me and then runs away, and goes out at night to beat people up . . . .what do I know about him, or his intentions?!"

Matt flinched, feeling the words like a blow.

"Foggy . . . " he started unsure of what to say.

Foggy turned away from Matt and sobbed angrily; the scent and sound of his distress filling the air. 

His helplessness to comfort Foggy, combined with the omega's cutting words soon had Matt crying as well. 

"Foggy, I-"

"Mr. Nelson, are you alright?" a nurse interrupted. "Your heart rate's been quite high. Are you in pain?"

She walked in and started checking his vitals as she waited for a response.

"No, I'm fine," he responded with an exhausted sigh, as he wiped at his face. "We just got into a bit of an argument."

She turned toward Matt and clucked her tongue in disapproval.

"You know he needs to rest to heal. Now is not the time to upset him; whatever it is you're arguing about can wait. 

If it happens again, we'll have to kick you out."

"Understood," Matt replied flatly.

The nurse finished checking Foggy over, made a few comments about how he needed to calm down, nodded her head, and left.

"Maybe I should go," Matt sighed in resignation, once they were alone.

The last thing that he wanted to do was leave, but if his presence was going to upset Foggy, maybe it was for the best.

"I think that's a good idea," Foggy responded levelly. 

Shoulders slumped, and feeling defeated, Matt trudged out of the room. He reached the hallway and paused. Should he go home, or back up to the roof?

At home, all that waited him was worry and a sleepless night. But on the roof, he would be giving into "crazy stalking" again. Still, he wasn't ready to leave, so stalking it was.


	9. Chapter 9

Foggy sighed as Matt left, feeling relieved. Okay, maybe not completely relieved. Maybe he felt part relieved, and part guilty. Or a little relieved, mostly guilty, and a hint of scared out of his mind.

He knew he had been relentless and unkind in his accusations. Sure, some of it had been deserved, but he had crossed some lines. 

He should have never even hinted that he might have cheated with another alpha, ( _It wouldn't be cheating! You weren't together!_ he reminds himself sternly), but he needed to make his point. 

Together or not, Matt had always been extremely territorial and protective, (even though he always tried his best to hide it), so it made the perfect argument. Matt would never agree that Foggy should contact a one-night stand; a near complete stranger, even theoretically. 

(A theoretical, that now that he had thrown it out there, he couldn't help but imagine. Foggy could see it now: _A shameful night of sex with some guy from Josie's after too much tequila and maybe an eel or two. A positive pregnancy test._

_Then an incredibly supportive and clingy Matt Murdock. . . ._

_'We're in this together, Foggy. You don't need to worry. I'm going to take care of you.'_

_'Is there anything I can get for you? Anything you need?'_

_. . .With protective mode turned up to thirteen, [on a scale of ten!]. . ._

_'Let me get that for you. You should rest.'_

_'I should probably walk you home . . .you know . . .just to make sure you get there safely.'_

_. . .And more than a little overzealous about Foggy and his baby's future._

_'If you wanted, you could move in with me. I mean, no pressure, but it might be nice to have someone around to help . . .'_

_'I was researching daycare providers in the area, and I was thinking . . . .'_

_'So, if we start saving for college now, by putting some of their college money in a savings account and part in stocks . . . . .'_

_And of course he would be all noble, treating the baby like they were his, though never daring to speak such a thought aloud unless Foggy did first. Always acting like it didn't bother him that he wasn't actually the biological father for everyone else's sake, while he secretly wished he was and privately agonized over the fact he wasn't . . . ._ )

At any rate, from that it was just a painful, rather bluntly drawn parallel away from Matt realizing that _**he**_ was actually the one-night stand. Brutal, but effective. . . And necessary . . . .right? To protect him and his baby . . . But then why didn't he feel safe? Why did he feel so awful?

(. . . . _because Matt really could be all of the things he imagined. Only it would be better, because this baby **really was** his . . . .but NO! That was just a fantasy. It wasn't real life. . . .He couldn't make decisions based on a daydream of how great Matt **might** be._ )

[ **Would be. You know him! You know he would be great!**

**Okay so he lied, and you're hurt. That's fair. Tell him that he hurt you. He should have to deal with that.**

**But it doesn't change who he is. He's the same man you've known for the past ten years. He's the man you fell in love with.**

**And it doesn't change that you're being vengeful by keeping him away from his kid; by keeping him away from you. . . He loves you. He'll love this baby. You know that!**

**He made a mistake! A misguided choice because he was afraid. . . You can't punish him forever for that!** ]

Oh great, now his mind was playing devil's advocate, ( _or should that be Devil of Hell's Kitchen advocate,_ he thought half-amused, half-distraught).

( _I'm not punishing him! I'm protecting my child! . . . You know, like a good parent! He's violent! I can't risk him hurting me or my baby!_ )

[ **You know he would never hurt either or you, no matter what he does in a mask! You're just using the Devil of Hell's Kitchen as an excuse to run away because you have hurt feelings!** ]

( _Illegal vigilantism seems like a pretty valid reason to run away! He's dangerous! And a criminal!_ ) 

[ **But would you have done the same if you knew from the beginning? If he had told you the truth, would you still be running away?** ] 

Foggy sighed. It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally this was going to have both Foggy's and Matt's post fight thoughts, but this section kept growing . . . . .and before I knew it, it a multi-voice mental argument; which seems brilliant right now in the middle of the night. I hope it still seems like a good idea in the morning, and it's not too difficult to follow. . . .much like this note . . . ; )


	10. Chapter 10

As the faintest promise of dawn began to show at the horizon, and the earliest of early birds began to tweet, Matt left his perch on the roof. He shouldn't risk being seen on the rooftop. 

Exhausted, and unsure where to go or what to do, his feet made their way to the church. He settled on the bench in front of the stone structure, unsure if he had come intentionally or not. This was always where he had sought guidance in the past, but he hadn't spoken to Father Lantom since the night before he went to kill Fisk. The night he and Foggy . . . .

"You look exhausted, Matthew. Perhaps I could interest you in a latte," interrupted the familiar voice of his priest.

"Thank you," Matt answered simply, hiding any hesitation he felt as he rose to follow.

He must have come here for a reason. A latte and some advice certainly couldn't hurt.

"What's on your mind?" Father Lantom called from over by the coffee maker. 

"Foggy was attacked last night," Matt blurted, the words tasting bitter on his lips. "Three men . . . They cornered him in an alley and beat him. He . . .he needed emergency surgery. The doctors say he's going to be okay, and that the baby's fine, but he was hurt pretty badly."

"I'm sorry to hear that he was hurt . . . " The priest paused a beat, "Wait, did you say that your friend is pregnant? When did that happen?"

"About four months ago," Matt mumbled. "I just found out last night."

"He didn't tell you? I thought you and Foggy were quite close."

"We were, but he hasn't spoken to me in almost three months. 

We had a fight about four months ago. Things got strained between us. 

We could hardly be in the same room without arguing. Working together was tough at the best of times, unbearable at the worst, but we still somehow managed to finish the Fisk case. 

Then, shortly after we finished the case he left our practice, and he's been avoiding me since.

Looking back, I'm guessing he left about the time he figured out he was pregnant. That must have been the last straw."

"Why would that cause him to leave? Do you think he was afraid of how you would react? Given the tension between you at the time?"

"I'm not sure. I'd like to think that he'd know that I would support him, no matter how rocky things were between us. But he clearly didn't.

He found out he was having my baby, and he didn't tell me."

"Your baby?"

"Foggy and I slept together once, about four months ago."

"Around the time you fought? . . . Is that why you fought?"

"Not really. Though it didn't help. . . He found out that I had been keeping secrets about something. Something personal, that I thought I was protecting him by not telling him, but that he felt I should have told him."

Father Lantom nodded solemnly.

"And then everything just unraveled," Matt continued. He paused a beat and then said, "It wasn't meant to be a one-time thing. Sleeping with him . . . I wanted a relationship with him . . .but . . ." He gestured vaguely to represent the conflict between himself and Foggy, "we just drifted apart. He didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me, and maybe I should have tried harder to mend things between us . . .But no matter what was happening between us, I just wish he would have told me he was pregnant. 

I want to do right by him. I want to be there from him and my child."

"Is that the only reason you wanted to know? So you could do the right thing?"

Matt considered for a few moments, and then signed, "No. I mean, I do want to take responsibility for my child, and be a part of their life. And it would be really easy to say that I was so hurt he didn't tell me because it's my child, so it's somewhat my business, but that's not the whole truth.

I would be hurt no matter who the baby's father was. Whether or not I had any reason to believe it might be me.

Since Foggy and I met, we've talked about everything. It hurt to know that that's not who we are anymore. 

Sure, he'd been avoiding me, but for something this big? 

He never would have kept this from me unless he thought we were broken beyond repair . . . And . . .and I had hoped that he would come around eventually."

"So you feel that by not telling you, Foggy is choosing to cut you out of his life? To end whatever there was between you?"

Matt nodded.

"Matthew, I'm not sure what secrets you were keeping from Foggy, but is it possible he felt the same way when he found out? That by keeping secrets from him you were pushing him away or trying to keep him out?"

"Maybe . . .But nothing could be further from the truth! 

I didn't want to hurt him . . .And I didn't want to push him away. 

I love him! I want to be his alpha, to bond with him, and spend the rest of my life with him."

Matt was a little surprised by his sudden confession. In the deepest part of his heart, he had always known that everything he had just said was true, but he had never let himself speak it before.

"You want to spend the rest of your life with him, but you weren't able to be honest with him? 

I know you said you had your reasons, but perhaps you need to think about why you were unwilling to tell the man that you claim to love about the things that you kept from him. 

Relationships are built on trust. If you're not sure you can trust your partner, and vice versa, then maybe that relationship isn't such a wise idea."

"But I do trust Foggy! I always have, even if I didn't always act like it.

I made a mistake, and I know I'll have to regain his trust, but I want to. I just don't know how. . . I think he may still be too angry at me to even give me a chance. I don't know what to do."

"Maybe you should start by being honest with him. If all of this was started by secrets and lies, perhaps honesty would go a long way to set a different tone going forward," the Father mused.

Matt considered his words. Would it really work? 

"Thank you, Father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I may have re-written this half a dozen times, and I'm still not sure it's what I want, but it'll have to do. Sorry.


	11. Chapter 11

Matt made his way back to the hospital as soon as he finished his latte. He knew he may not be welcomed, and this may not be the best timing, but he and Foggy had fought long enough as far as he was concerned.

He knocked on the partially ajar door to the hospital room, and waited the few seconds it took Foggy to reply.

"Matt? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice already starting to get defensive.

"Look, Foggy, I know I hurt you.

I know that by leaving you alone after we had sex, I hurt you. 

I meant to protect you by going out- and before you say anything, yes I made an error in judgment that night- and I didn't think about how it would look to you when I wasn't there. 

I'm so sorry you ever had a moment of doubt about how much I care about you. I would never want that for you, and I can only beg you for forgiveness since I let it happen.

I also know that by lying to you about my nighttime activities, and my senses, I hurt you. 

I didn't mean to. I didn't mean it as a lack of trust. I just had it so deeply ingrained in me that I shouldn't tell anyone what I could do, that it became second nature. 

And the other piece, well, I was trying to protect you . . .and maybe me a little. Especially after some of the things you had said about him . . .about me. . .before you knew. I value your opinion, and hearing you speak so harshly about that other piece of me hurt . . . But all reasons aside, the last thing I wanted to do was cause you pain. I am really sorry that I did."

"So, you came to apologize?" 

He could feel Foggy looking at him skeptically, but he didn't let himself be deterred.

"Partially. I just wanted to be honest with you. We've had so many secrets, and lies, and lies of omission between us lately, that I thought I should try the truth for a change."

"I guess I can appreciate the sentiment, but what exactly is the truth going to fix now? We've already gone our separate ways. We've moved on. Isn't it just a little too late?"

"I certainly hope not. . . Foggy, I've been miserable these last few months. My life without you, it isn't any sort of life at all. . .and when I saw you last night; when I thought I could lose you . . .what I'm saying is, I know I have a long way to go to regain your trust, but I'm willing to try. I want to try. 

I haven't moved on, and I don't want to. I love you, and I want you in my life. I'm just wondering if you feel the same way. If maybe, after everything, you think we might have something worth saving."

Silence fell between them. Foggy made no move to answer. In fact, he had frozen in his spot and stayed so still he hardly breathed.

"Have you missed me at all?" Matt asked a little desperately as the silence continued to stretch between them.

"Of course I've missed you," Foggy sighed, his voice sounding pained. "You don't just get over someone who you loved for years in a few months. That love doesn't just disappear."

"So you still love me?" he asked hopefully.

"I do. I think I always will. But I'm not sure it's enough. . . . Matt, you go out at night in a mask and beat up criminals. Every time you leave, you might not come back, and I'm not sure I can handle that. . .and even if I could, it's not going to just be me anymore. 

I'm having a baby. In five months, I'm going to be responsible for a new, innocent life, and I don't know if I can let someone into their life if they don't intend to do their best to stick around."

"Foggy, nothing is certain. I could hang up the mask for good, and be hit by a bus before our kid is two. I could get cancer, or just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Either of us could. Case and point, you could have been killed last night.

There are no guarantees. But I know that I'm helping people. All I know, is that if I don't do anything, more people lose their mothers and fathers, their lovers, and their children to senseless violence.

Foggy, if I would have lost you last night, if I would have lost our child, I don't know what I would have done. It would have torn me apart. 

If I can prevent someone else from having to experience that kind of loss, shouldn't I do it?"

"You make it all sound so noble, but Matt, you admitted that you left me in bed alone to go kill Fisk. I know you said it was a mistake, one that you regretted, but last night you almost killed a man; so it wasn't an isolated incident. If things continue how they are, it's only a matter of time before you cross the line."

"I won't," Matt responded, firmly shaking his head. "I won't cross that line."

"How can you be so sure?" Foggy asked desperately. "Look, you said you were going to be honest with me, so I'll be honest with you.

I've thought about telling you I was pregnant almost nonstop from the moment I found out. I agonized over whether or not I should call . . . The first time I felt the baby move, I almost went over to your apartment, and when I decided I shouldn't, I cried for three hours because you weren't there to experience it with me. But no matter how much I wanted you there, or how much it hurt to know that you didn't know, I knew I could never tell you. 

I love you, and in a perfect world we'd raise this baby together, but I'm scared that would be a mistake. I'm afraid I'm going to lose you to Daredevil . . ."

"Foggy . . ."

"I don't mean that you'll be killed, though let's face it, there _is_ a significant chance of that happening. What I mean, is that I'm afraid that what you do as Daredevil will never feel like enough to you. I worry that you'll always feel like you could have done more, and so you'll try to do it, and that slowly but surely the non-Daredevil Matt will be replaced bit by bit until all that's left is the vigilante. 

And that's not something I can risk. Daredevil might be many things, but he's not father material. 

Don't get me wrong, he's saved a lot of people. He's fought to protect the innocent and bring down the guilty. Those are all good things, but they're always achieved through violence, and fueled by anger, which occasionally slips into nearly uncontrollable rage. Rage which I'm afraid that without the influence of non-Daredevil Matt, will lead to Daredevil starting to rack up a body count . . .because, let's face it, blood, fists, and rough justice are all Daredevil knows. Not exactly what you'd look for in a dad."

Matt was stunned.

"You didn't tell me because you think I'm going to be a bad father?" he asked shakily, the hurt in his voice clear.

Foggy sighed.

"Yes and no," he admitted. "Matt, when you're not him you're loving, and kind, and patient. You're smart, and you care about doing the right thing. You're loyal, and fiercely protective of those you love. All of those things would make you a great father. . .but there's another side to you that I don't want anywhere near my kid. . .and I'm not sure how to reconcile the two."

Matt swallowed against the lump in his throat and tried to hold back his tears.

"You have to know that no part of me, Daredevil or not, would ever raise a hand against you or our child! No matter what! I could never hurt you!"

"I know you'd never be violent towards me or our child. That's not what I meant. I meant that Daredevil isn't exactly a good role model. And I worry that there will come a day that he, that _you_ , go too far . . .and I can't expose our child to that."

"Foggy, I won't . . . "

"So you say, but you've already come close twice that I know of. . .and I'm pretty sure you would have killed that man last night if I hadn't stopped you." 

"That was different." 

"How?" 

"Because they were threatening _you_. . .they were _hurting you_ . . . And I would do anything to stop that." 

"So apparently me being in danger justifies homicide?" 

"Actually, it does. Foggy, you're a lawyer, and a defense lawyer at that. Don't you believe in justifiable homicide?" 

"You had all three of my attackers unconscious, thus removing the threat, and yet you continued to beat one of them nearly to death. That's not defense of other; that's vengeance." 

"You're right that I probably should have stopped, but just because they were temporarily disabled doesn't mean they didn't still pose a viable threat. They could have come to before the police arrived. That's still justifiable homicide." 

"What about Fisk? Mistake or not, you still went out to kill him, and he never actually attacked me. How do you justify that?" 

"He was still a threat to you, so it would still be justifiable homicide according to the alpha addendum." 

"Really, Murdock? You're going with the alpha addendum? Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch?" 

"'An alpha may defend their mate or child against any reasonably perceived threat, including threats made verbally or strongly implied by actions or a pattern of actions, by any means necessary; up to and including killing the person causing the threat.' 

Through his pattern of actions towards those who opposed him, and his vague verbal threats against our law firm, I had reason to believe he was a danger to you. I would say that's not a stretch at all." 

"You're not actually my alpha. I'm not your mate." 

"You're carrying my child, so it still applies." 

"I wasn't when you went after Fisk." 

Matt raised his eyebrows. 

"Okay, technically I was, but there was no way you could have known that! We're talking maybe a few hours after conception!" 

"And yet a jury probably would have acquitted me if I had killed him." 

"That's not the point! I don't care about technicalities, or if you're legally in the right! 

What about your conscience?!? Are you telling me you would be okay with killing someone?!? 

And if you are, how can I let someone who would willingly take another human life into my life? Into my child's life?!?" 

"Because deep down you know I'd never give in to bloodlust. You know I would never cross that line unless you or our child were at stake. 

If I had to, I would do it, and I would do it with a clear conscience . . .and that's not a Daredevil thing. That's an every fiber of me that is Matt Murdock thing, because, like you said, 'I'm fiercely protective of those I love.' And there is no one in this world who I love more than the two of you. 

I'm not sorry for being willing to do whatever it takes to defend you, because no one hurts you and gets away with it . . . but I do have limits that I won't cross unless I have to." 

"That's another thing! You say that you won't let anyone hurt me; that you would never hurt me, but you already have. You know you have. 

Every time you lie to me, you hurt me. 

Every time you go out at night and put yourself in danger, you hurt me."

"I can try to be more honest with you going forward, but you know I can't stop being Daredevil! People need me . . . "

"Yeah. You've told me. But like it or not, you take my heart out with you every time you put on the mask. It takes every blow, feels the sting of every cut, and breaks a little with every broken bone.

This may be something you need to do, but you have to know that your life isn't the only one you risk. You said it would have torn you apart if you lost me. Well, you're not the only one who feels that way. 

Even as I was doing my best to stay away and move on, I couldn't help the way my heart leapt into my throat every time someone mentioned Daredevil. It didn't stop me from watching the news every night, or buying the paper every time you made the headlines, just to make sure there weren't any reports about you being hurt or dead."

Matt fell silent, unsure of what to say. He didn't want Foggy to worry about him, but he understood why he would. He also knew that he couldn't promise him the one thing he really wanted, maybe even needed, to hear. Well he could, but he couldn't make such a promise honestly, and he knew Foggy hated it when he lied. Would it be better for him to tell Foggy the truth or to stay silent? He wasn't sure.

"I can't promise you that I'll be safe. You know that," Matt said hesitantly, unsure if he should be saying this. "But I can promise you I'll be as careful as I can. . .and that if you want me to, I'll check in with you before and after I go out each night. I could call you, or send you a text. Whatever you want, so that you don't have to worry about whether or not I got home safe."

He took Foggy's hand in his, and gave it a small squeeze as he turned his face directly towards Foggy's.

"Please let me try," he asked pleadingly. "All I want is to be a part of your life again."

Foggy gave into the urge he had been fighting most of their conversation, and let himself cry. Matt seemed to startle as he smelled the distinct saltwater of tears, (though Foggy wondered how he hadn't noticed how choked up he was before), and gave his hand a squeeze.

"I want that too," he said through his tears. "I'm just not sure I can."

"Then what do we do?" Matt asked quietly; his voice sounded lost and heart-broken.

"I don't know. I just don't know," Foggy sobbed.

Matt hovered by Foggy's bedside for a moment before he gathered him up gently in his arms. To his slight surprise, Foggy let him without any form of protest. He just buried his face in Matt's shoulder, and let out a stream of confused and stricken tears, but it brought him no closure and no clarity.


	12. Chapter 12

Emotionally and physically exhausted, Foggy fell asleep in Matt's arms. The alpha was a little bit surprised as sobs gave way to snores, but he continued to hold the other man in his arms, and even indulged in planting a soft kiss to the top of his head when he knew the other was truly asleep.

Part of Matt was thrilled that Foggy felt comfortable enough to fall asleep while Matt held him. Another part cautioned that the omega had just been through hell, and may be tired enough to sleep anywhere. A third part warned that he should leave now that Foggy was unconscious, because he hadn't been asked to stay.

As he tried to sort through his confusion, he loosened his hold a little. That seemed to distress the man in his arms, who though he didn't wake, curled in on himself tighter and shifted toward Matt while whining softly.

That made up Matt's mind for him. Foggy could be as mad as he wanted when he awoken, right now he clearly needed him. So he gently shifted them both, and took a seat on the edge of the bed, (the semi-upright position Foggy was in looked far from comfortable).

In his new position, he was able to lean back toward the head of the bed, and gather the other man up in his arms more fully. Foggy unconsciously followed, curling up against Matt's side as he was gently tugged closer, and resting his head against his chest. 

This was the way things were supposed to be. Foggy was safe in his arms, his face finally relaxed as he slept. Their combined body heat was comfortably warm, making Matt feel drowsy, and the tandem heartbeats of omega and fetus were a reassuring lullaby that finally allowed him to sleep.

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Foggy awoke to find he was gently cradled in strong arms, and his pillow was warm, muscular, and had a heartbeat.

"Matt?" he questioned groggily, as he opened his eyes and lifted his head.

"I'm here," the other man whispered in response.

"You stayed while I slept? You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to. I hope that's okay. I can leave if you don't want me here . . ."

"No, you're alright. It's kinda nice not to be alone."

"You never did like to be alone when you were sick."

"Misery loves company. If I have to suffer, might as well drag someone else down with me. Unfortunately for you, your proximity in college always meant that someone was you."

"It wasn't that bad. Besides, it felt like the least I could do was keep you company after the way you took care of me every time I got sick. You were quite the mother hen."

"Mother hen?!? I'm not a mother hen!" 

Matt chuckled softly at Foggy's faux outrage. 

"You kind of are. If I ever so much as _sniffled_ you bought out all the Kleenex at the closest store, and made sure they were never out of reach. Even if that meant following me around campus with your pockets stuffed with tissues."

"I don't remember hearing any complaints when you received well-timed and much-needed tissues."

"The slightest cough had you making me endless cups of tea with honey."

"You hate cough syrup! You said it tasted wrong, which now that I know about your senses, probably means you can taste all the nasty chemical ingredients in it or something.

You like tea, so it seemed like a good alternative. It was just to soothe your throat enough to keep you from coughing so much and keeping me awake at night. Believe me, my intentions were entirely selfish on that one."

"I would believe you, if I didn't know that you only pretended to sleep, and actually spent the whole night watching over me."

"How did you . . .oh right, bet my heartbeat didn't sound like I was asleep, which, it's still weird that you can hear that."

"Well yeah, there was that, but there was also the way you walked around like a sleep-deprived zombie."

"I didn't!"

"I wasn't the only one who noticed. People used to talk about us behind our backs. 

'Foggy's looking ragged again, Matt must be sick. . . I swear if you cut Matt, _Foggy_ is the one who bleeds.'"

"They didn't!"

"They did . . . and let's not forget Gammy Nelson's chicken noodle soup. Though how you made so much of it using a hot plate in our tiny little dorm room, I'll never know."

"I'll have you know, that the recipe for that soup is a staunchly guarded Nelson secret. The soup has actual healing properties. You should feel lucky I was willing to make it for an outsider like you."

"I did," Matt said, suddenly serious. "I do. I'm grateful for all the ways you take care of me."

"Not much I can do to take care of you now. When you're hurt, it usually isn't something I can fix with soup and tea anymore," Foggy grumbled bitterly.

"You still make everything better, just by being you," Matt argued. "Just being near you makes me feel like everything's right in my world."

"Then I _know_ I haven't been helping you lately. I haven't exactly been around."

"You had your reasons."

"I know, but I still hurt you . . . I'm sorry, Matty. I wish I could say it wasn't on purpose, but that would be a lie, and after reading you the riot act about honesty, I really don't want to be a hypocrite on top of everything else. . .though I suppose you would be able to tell if I was lying anyway, so it may be a moot point."

Silence fell awkwardly between them. Both of them cursing the way the easy banter between them had faded so quickly.

"Hey, I don't think I ever thanked you for saving me. I really did appreciate the rescue, so thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for that Foggy."

"You saved my life. It seems like the appropriate thing to do."

"I assure you, my motivations were completely selfish."

Foggy half-chuckled, half-scoffed incredulously.

"I'm serious Foggy, a world without you in it, isn't a world I want to live in. I'll fight against that possibility with everything I have as long as there's breath in my body."

Foggy sighed.

"When you say things like that, I don't know if I should hug you and never let go, or run as fast and as far away as I can so I'm not the reason you end up dead."

"I don't think you'll be up for running any time soon. Maybe we could try the hugging option?" 

Matt's voice was hopeful, nearly pleading, and Foggy internally cursed everything that had led them to this point. Everything had clearly gone wrong, because Matt shouldn't have to plead for Foggy's affection. Worse yet, Foggy shouldn't ever have to consider denying such a plea. . . .and yet . . .

"Besides," Matt continued. "I've had a severe Foggy deficiency lately, and I think it's starting to make me sick."

It was meant as a joke, but it's too raw. Too desperate. It made Foggy wonder when they would be able to talk again without their words dissolving into painful confessions. They had both made too many of those.

Matt shifted nervously next to him, probably realizing how desperate he sounded. He looked so small and sad, that Foggy couldn't help himself, he hugged him. He knew he shouldn't, things were far from resolved between them, and he shouldn't give Matt false hope. There was still a real possibility that Foggy wouldn't be able to handle this, and he would leave. But in the moment, all he thought about was chasing that sad look from Matt's face.


	13. Chapter 13

Matt stayed. He stayed through blood draws and other tests, (holding tightly to Foggy's hand, more for his own benefit than Foggy's). He stayed through Marci's visit that afternoon, (he could practically smell the hatred coming off of her, but she seemed to try to act as neutrally as she could). He stayed through the night and into the next morning, hardly moving from Foggy's side. 

"Not that I don't appreciate your devotion to not leaving me alone, but you do know there are plenty of doctors and nurses to look after me, right? You don't need to chain yourself to my side until I get released," Foggy commented.

"Do you not want me here?" Matt asked nervously.

"I'm just saying, I haven't seen you eat anything in over twenty-four hours. Those are the same clothes you were wearing the night I was admitted, and come to think of it, I haven't even seen you leave to go to the bathroom. 

Matty, are you planning your bathroom breaks around when I'm asleep?"

Matt shrugged.

"You need to go home sometime, buddy," Foggy stated. "You can always come back. You know, after a shower and a change of clothes, some food; maybe even some sleep in your own bed. I won't break if you leave me for a little while.

Besides, I know you hate hospitals. You'd probably rather be anywhere else but here right now."

The last part was disguised as a joke, but at its heart it was a concession to Matt's very real issues with hospitals. In fact, it was more than a concession; it was an out. Foggy was giving him permission to leave and not return, and it rubbed him the wrong way. He didn't _want_ an out.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," he said softly, but firmly.

Foggy sighed, giving up his cheerful tone and taking on a serious one.

"I know, Matty. I know. But you have to take care of yourself too. Me being hurt doesn't change the fact that you have needs. 

I'm serious, go home for a bit. Take a shower, change your clothes. Take some time to recharge."

"But . . ."

"I'll be fine."

Matt frowned for a moment, and then pasted on a smile.

"You know you are the mother of all mother hens, right? Who else would try to order me into taking care of myself from a hospital bed?"

"Someone's gotta do it," Foggy remarked with an exaggerated long-suffering sigh, before his face broke into a grin. "Now move it, Murdock, before I ask them to admit you for exhaustion."

"I slept," Matt defended childishly.

"Yeah, what you did while you were pretzeled on the side of the bed does not count. I can't imagine that was quality sleep. Now, shoo!"

He waved his hands like he was swatting a fly, and though he knew that Matt could sense that from the disturbances in the air currents, he narrated his actions anyway.

"I'm waving my hands vigorously in your direction. Shoo, fly! Come back later!"

Matt finally complied and rose out of his chair, chuckling softly as he did. He made it as far as the door, and then he turned back.

His face was light and happy, an easy grin on his lips. Foggy could almost imagine it was before anything had come between them. Just another normal day.

"Foggy?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Foggy swallowed.

He loved Matt. There could be no doubt that he would always love Matt. . . But saying it back would mean something. It would be committing to something that Foggy wasn't sure he could promise.

He paused for a second and then opted to say, in his most over-the-top joking voice, "Go home already!"

"Yeah, okay," Matt conceded as he finally left.

Foggy stared after him, and wondered if this would ever get any easier.

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Matt trudged back home, his lack of energy more than apparent once he left Foggy's presence. The other man had been right; he did need rest. The emotional and physical toll of keeping watch for a little over thirty-six hours, nearly continuously, was greater than he had realized. Now that he let himself feel his fatigue, it struck him with a vengeance.

However, his exhaustion was not so great as to eclipse his disappointment. He knew it was probably too soon to say "I love you" after all that had happened between them, but he couldn't help but feel hurt that Foggy didn't say it back. Yes, it was a loaded statement, but Foggy had admitted that he still loved Matt the day before. Why was he so unwilling to say it now?

 _Because he's still not sure what he's going to do about all of this, and he doesn't want to lead you on,_ Matt's brain supplied.

The realization stung. Foggy was still hedging his bets, unwilling to even commit to letting Matt try. Even as all of his fussing and worrying showed just how much he cared, he was keeping Matt at an arm's length. 

_I put that distance there,_ he thought guiltily. _I held him at an arm's length for years. Holding him back from truly knowing me every time I didn't tell him about my senses. Pushing him that little bit further away every time I lied about an injury._

On a certain level, Matt knew that things could have never fallen apart so spectacularly between them without Foggy playing a role in it too, but in the moment he cursed every opening he had to be honest with Foggy that he let pass by. 

There would be no more of those. If Foggy gave him the chance, he would do things differently. He would be honest.

 _No more hiding,_ he promised himself as he drifted off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

"Matt?" Foggy asked drowsily, as the sound of someone settling into the chair next to his bed roused him from a light doze.

"No. Try again, Nelson," a familiar a voice responded, though it was slightly gentler than he was used to hearing it.

Foggy opened his eyes the rest of the way, and turned toward the chair. Sure enough, there sat his oldest frenemy.

"Brett? What are you doing here? I already gave my statement yesterday morning."

"I know. That's not why I'm here."

"Bess told you to come?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not the only reason."

Foggy made an inquisitive noise to let Brett know he should go on.

"I've got a guy in lockup; claims you're having Daredevil's baby."

"Where'd he get that idea?" Foggy scoffed, hoping he didn't sound nervous.

"Says he overheard you telling Daredevil something to that effect."

"And you believe him? I'm pretty sure Daredevil dealt him more than a few good blows to the head. I wouldn't exactly call him a reliable source."

He hoped he sounded certain. Inside, he was panicking. His stomach was in knots, and his heart was pounding. Still, he was a lawyer. Calmly spinning half-truths was part of the job description. He just hoped he wasn't off his game.

"Give me some credit. To be honest, I didn't even believe you were pregnant until I saw the report for myself. My mom never said anything about you bonding or having a baby, and she seems to know pretty much everything about everybody in Hell's Kitchen. Plus, the Franklin Nelson I knew was never going to be tied down."

"Well, I am pregnant, but it's . . ."

"Murdock's," Brett finished easily. "Like I said, give me some credit. I see how you two are together. I know he's the only alpha you'd ever even consider. So unless Matt Murdock is Daredevil, the guy was clearly mistaken."

It was a joke, right? 'Ha ha, wouldn't it be ridiculous if Matt Murdock was Daredevil.' Brett didn't _know_ . . . He couldn't know. 

Alarms were sounding in Foggy's brain, and he was consciously keeping his breathing normal. His heart was going into overdrive, and he thought he might just have a heart attack from the strain. But under no circumstances could he let any of that show on his face. He needed to stay calm, and sound nonchalant.

"Well Matt isn't Daredevil, so . . . ."

"Again, I know. Not my point. My point is that a bunch of really bad people think you're romantically linked to Daredevil."

"But I'm not . . ."

"Doesn't matter if it's true or not. If they think they can hurt Daredevil by hurting you, they might go after you anyway."

"Okay, so I'm Lois Lane to Daredevil's Superman. Got it."

"Foggy, I'm being serious. These are not guys you want to mess with. You should be careful.

Don't leave work after dark if you can help it. Take a cab instead of walking, or have someone walk with you. That kind of thing.

I know we're not exactly friends, but I don't want to see you get hurt."

Foggy sighed, and responded sincerely, "I know, man. I appreciate it. Thanks for the heads up."

"You're welcome. Now get well, and as soon as you get out of here, you need to see my mom and tell her you're pregnant. She'll be really mad at you if you deny her the chance to fuss over you."

"Alright. Will do."

"See that you do. I'll catch you later," Brett called as he headed out the door.

"Bye!" Foggy called back.

He sighed again. Great, a bunch of criminals thought he was having Daredevil's baby. Just what he needed; a target on his back.

He briefly wondered if this ever would have happened if he had kept to his original plan and never told Matt he was having his baby. He could have lied in the alley and said it was someone else's, but the thought hadn't really occurred to him. Besides, it didn't really matter. What was done was done. The real question now was whether or not he should tell Matt, and that was far from an easy question to answer.

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Matt stood frozen in the hallway of the hospital. He'd arrived just in time to hear Brett walk into Foggy's room for a short visit. A short visit where he had said things that had Matt paralyzed with fear.

One of the thugs had come around. He had regained consciousness and overheard them, and Matt hadn't even noticed. . . How had he not noticed? He should have been able to tell if Foggy's attackers were unconscious or not, but the truth was, once he heard the words "I'm hurt" he turned his all focus to Foggy. He wasn't paying attention to anyone or anything else, much less the thugs and their heartbeats. If the guy came around, but didn't move or try to get up, it wasn't entirely surprising that Matt didn't notice. 

It still felt like a failure though. He should have been more viligant. His mistake meant that this guy was shooting his mouth off to people who had plenty of reasons to want to hurt Daredevil. If they thought they knew his weakness, how to cause him pain, they wouldn't hesitate to exploit it. 

That meant Foggy was in danger. Matt had made him a target, and the very thought of what the scum of Hell's Kitchen might try to do to him was making it hard for him to breathe.

He needed to talk to Foggy. They needed to create a plan to keep him safe. He needed to convince Foggy to let him stay, so that he could protect him. . . But first he needed to find a way to move his feet.

"Sir? Is there something you're looking for . . . I mean, if there something I can help you find?" a nurse asked.

He probably did look pretty conspicuous stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"Room 325?" Matt inquired, hoping if someone led him to Foggy, he might actually be able to move.

"I can take you there," the nurse offered.

Matt gratefully let himself be guided down the hall, his body seeming to cooperate now that someone else was encouraging him forward.

"Thank you," he said softly as he was dropped off in front of the door.

The nurse muttered a polite reply, and hurried off.

"Feeling better?" Foggy asked as Matt entered the room.

He paused and then added, "Maybe not. What's wrong, Matt? That furrow between your brows has never been deeper, and you kinda look like a rubber band that's about to snap. What happened?"

"I, uh, I- I overhead your conversation with Brett."

Foggy fell silent.

"I made you a target-"

"Matt . . . "

"You're in danger because of me."

"Ma-"

"No, Foggy, you can't deny that I put you in danger. There are people who might to try to hurt you to get revenge. To punish me because of who I am, and what I've done to them. This is my fault."

"I wasn't going to deny that. Yes, you did put me in danger, but that's nothing new. You've been putting me in danger since the first time you went out and did what you do at night.

Whether or not you want to admit it, you had to know there was a chance someone could trace all of that back to you, and from there the connection to me would be easy. 

Even if we never would have become more than friends, as your best friend and law partner, I still would have been a target. I was always high on the list of people they would hurt just to cause you pain.

Just because the danger is more immediate now, doesn't mean it wasn't always there."

Matt flinched. Foggy was right, but the truth was far from painless. 

"You're right," Matt admitted. "But, right now we need to think about the current threat. 

Brett's right, you need to be careful. I would suggest that you leave the city for awhile . . ."

He heard the telltale inhale that signaled that Foggy was about to speak, probably to protest, so he hurried on with what he was saying.

" . . . But I know you wouldn't even consider it; and that would be no guarantee they wouldn't find you."

"I'm not leaving my life behind. Especially not over potential threats based on speculation and rumors. There's a chance nothing will come of this."

"And there's a chance you could have three hits out on you by the end of the day. I don't think it's a good idea to dismiss this.

I'm not saying you should leave your life behind, but you shouldn't be alone except when it's absolutely necessary . . .and you should probably move in with me after you're released." 

"Move in with you?" Foggy questioned with a bit of incredulity in his voice that Matt ignored. 

"We don't know if they know where you live or not. So it's safer if you stay with me," he explained earnestly. "Besides, then you'll have someone with you at home, and it'll make it easier for me to walk you to and from work everyday."

"Uh huh, so your solution to this, which you apparently made in the last fifteen minutes before you said a word to me, is for me to move in with you, and for you to become my personal bodyguard?"

"I have to protect you, if that means being your personal bodyguard, so be it."

"You 'have to protect me'? Why? Because you think I'm weak and incapable of taking care of myself? I'm some delicate, breakable omega who needs a big, strong alpha to survive in the harsh, cruel world?!?"

"Foggy . . ."

"Or maybe it's obligation. You knocked me up, so now you're obligated to 'do the right thing' and provide for me and protect me. Y'know? 'Be a good alpha.'"

"It's not . . ."

"Or maybe it's just your usual guilty bullshit. You put me in danger, so now this is your penance. You can't let me out of range of your senses in some sort of act of contrition."

"I . . ."

"Bottom line, Murdock, I don't need your condescension, your pity, or your guilt. You don't 'have to' do shit! 

I'm not helpless; I've actually been doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself for the last three months. I can make my own decisions. I don't need an alpha to tell me what to do, or to protect me, and I don't need you hovering over me because you think you have some sort of obligation to do it."

Matt was stung. He shook his head gently in shock. Foggy couldn't believe what he had just said, could he?

"I'm not doing anything out of obligation," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"How the hell am I supposed to know that?!? You're certainly not acting like it. 

You show up, tell me I'm in danger, and that it's all your fault. Then, you start making plans for me without my input, like I'm a child incapable of making my own decisions. Like you're my guardian, and I can't be trusted to know what's best for me, so you're obligated to be the one in charge. . . . I mean, otherwise, you'd think you'd at least _ask_ for my opinion."

"Foggy, I'm not good at this. I can understand why you'd think that, but that's not. . . It's that . . . I, I'm scared," Matt admitted. "The newspapers, they call me 'the man without fear,' but when you're at stake, I panic. 

I react, without even really thinking about it. . .it's like drowning, or being strangled . . .you know you need oxygen to live, so you fight and struggle against whatever's in your way. It's not graceful, or planned, but your body knows that if you don't do anything you'll die, so you fight.

I 'have to protect you', not because I think you're weak, or incapable of doing it yourself, but because if I don't, if I don't _know_ you're safe, I feel like I can't breathe."

"I guess I understand . . .but Matt did you ever consider the danger in your plan? They think Daredevil is my alpha, so if I move in with you, and you start acting like my alpha, they might think . . . .you know."

"I didn't think beyond making damn sure that anyone who wanted to hurt you would have to go through me first. . .but now that you mention it, this could be a good thing."

"A good thing how? If people start thinking you're Daredevil you could end up in jail . . .or _killed_. 

The thought of losing you doesn't exactly make me feel warm and fuzzy. In fact, your drowning metaphor seems particularly apt, and, not to pull the trump card, but I'm breathing for two people. Now is not the time to die on me, Murdock."

"A good thing, because if I act like your alpha, maybe they'll think the guy in lock-up was wrong. 

'His alpha isn't Daredevil; it's his blind best friend. Clearly that guy got hit over the head too many times.'"

"So you're willing to risk your life, and possibly mine and our baby's by extension, on the assumption that they'll overlook you because you're blind?"

"The odds are definitely in our favor. Besides, you're in danger as long as they think you're with Daredevil. There's at least a chance of changing their minds this way."

"You're insane!"

"Do you have a better idea?"

Foggy sighed heavily.

"No."

"So then it's settled? We stick together?"

"Alright. We stick together."

Foggy sounded extremely reluctant, but Matt couldn't help but feel relieved. This would work. He could protect Foggy. He could protect their child. He had to.


	15. Chapter 15

"Franklin Percy Nelson, would you care to tell me why I found out my only son, my baby boy, was in the hospital after being attacked, from _Bess Mahoney_ , in the middle of a grocery store?" Anna Nelson's voice scolded as she entered the room.

Edward Nelson followed closely behind her, both of their faces looking worried and scanning over Foggy as they made their way to his side.

Foggy sat up stiffly in the bed, both surprised and dismayed by his parents' presence. 

He probably should have told them, but he had been overwhelmed by everything the last few days, and had never gotten around to it. Besides, he didn't want to worry them.

"Ummmm . . ." Foggy started, but he had no idea what to say.

Anna's eyes looked him over again, and then she added, "Franklin, are you pregnant?!"

"Yes."

Foggy's voice was small and ashamed, and he looked down like a scolded child.

"You didn't think we should know that either?"

"I was going to tell you guys. I really was, I just . . . ."

"What else didn't you tell us? Are you still a lawyer-"

"You know I am. I just changed firms, I told you-"

"Did you move out of state?"

"I moved over three blocks, you and Dad helped me move-"

"Did you and Matt bond? Did you have a marriage ceremony we didn't know about?"

"No! Matt and I are not bonded! Or married!"

"You're just having his child?"

"Why does everyone assume the baby's father is Matt?"

"Honestly, Franklin, who else could it be?"

"Okay, yes, it's Matt, but we've hardly spoken in three months. 

Until he showed up at the hospital after the attack, I didn't think I'd ever see him again . . .well, maybe in passing, at the courthouse, or on the street since we only live a few blocks apart, but never more than that."

"Oh baby, what am I going to do with you! How did things ever get this bad? Why didn't you ask for help?"

"I'm fine, Mom. Things aren't that bad . . ."

"Sweetie, you're in the hospital after being attacked, you're hiding things from your family, and you're barely on speaking terms with the alpha whose baby you're carrying. I wouldn't call that 'fine.'"

"I'm doing the best I can."

Foggy's voice wobbled as he made the claim, and his mother rushed forward to wrap him up in a hug.

"But, Foggy, why are you doing it alone?" She whispered tenderly. "You have people who love you, and want to help. Me. Your father. Matt.

Why are you shutting us out?"

He sniffled and shook his head.

"Mom, I'm not so sure I can trust Matt. I want to, but . . .it's complicated, and I didn't know how to tell you under those circumstances. It just made things too real. I guess I've just been too scared to fully admit what's happening, and the more people who know, the more I need to face it.

. . . and I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. Unbonded and pregnant. An easy omega who got knocked up by being careless."

"Son, we wouldn't have thought that then, and we don't think that now," Edward spoke up, stepping forward to grab and squeeze Foggy's hand. "We're here to support you. I'm just sorry you felt you couldn't tell us. 

You shouldn't have had to face this alone for so long. . . Believe me when I say, I know exactly how hard that is, and I would never wish it on anyone, least of all you."

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt was on his way back from a Foggy-required lunch break, when he heard the Nelsons invade Foggy's room. 

They were understandably upset that they hadn't been told about Foggy's hospitalization or pregnancy, (Matt wondered if he should have told them about the former, since Foggy really hadn't been in much of a condition to do so). Something they made very clear, with Anna Nelson leading the charge with the kind of ruthless compassion only a parent could have.

Matt guiltily listened in, finding that he was incredibly grateful that Foggy had them. Whatever happened between the two of them, at least Foggy wouldn't be alone. He had a wonderful support system, and as much as Matt wanted to be a part of it, he knew the omega wouldn't go uncared for if his request was denied. (A denial that seemed all too likely, given how vehemently Foggy protested his mother's suggestion that they had secretly bonded. That stung, but Matt should have expected it).

He stood in the hall near the room, so preoccupied by his thoughts about Foggy and his family, that he missed Anna Nelson walking right up to him.

"Good afternoon, Matthew. How are you?"

 _Matthew._ That couldn't mean anything good.

"Worried about Foggy, but otherwise, I'm okay . . . ." he said cautiously.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you, I've been a little single-minded in . . . ." he continued.

"I'll get right to my point, Matt. Foggy needs you."

"Um, he doesn't seem to think so, and I-"

"He may not think so, but that doesn't mean it's not true . . . .did you know I'm not Foggy's biological mother?"

"Uh . . ." Matt stuttered, unsure how this was related to Foggy needing him.

"A couple years before he met me, Ed had a relationship with another woman. 

It was never meant to be anything serious, but he got pregnant, and he had thought that they would end up bonding and starting a family. That was what was done back then. If you got an omega pregnant, you bonded with them. No matter what other plans you originally had.

Only this alpha, she had other plans. She had been accepted to law school, and she wasn't going to give up her dreams and settle down for anyone. Least of all Ed, who she had considered to be a summer fling before she moved on to the next chapter of her life.

Then Ed's parents found out, and they told him he needed to 'take care of it' or he was on his own. No son of theirs was going to have a bastard child.

Ed refused. He was going to have that baby, and no one was going stop. Even if he had to do everything by himself . . .and he did. 

His parents disowned him, the alpha who had impregnated him ran as fast as she could and never spoke to him again, but Ed was determined, and Foggy was born . . . .it wasn't until several years later, when Ed was pregnant with Candace, that I learned that pregnancy almost killed him."

"What?!"

Matt was really confused now. Apparently Foggy had a biological mother who had abandoned him before his birth, and his father had almost died having him, all of which was horrible, but he still had no idea why Anna was telling him any of this.

"So many alphas think omegas are weak, but they're wrong. There's nothing weak about growing another life inside of you, and there is certainly nothing weak about childbirth. . .but biology isn't always fair.

Pregnancy can leave omegas vulnerable, so their biology tries to fight back by making them crave the comfort of their alpha. The idea being, if they stick close, they'll always have protection.

Generally, this works. In bonded pairs, the alpha feels a nearly uncontrollable urge to care for and protect their omega. Believe me, it's hard to even let them out of your sight. . . And even in unbonded couples, where the alpha doesn't have a biological imperative, but sticks around anyway, the need of the omega is met. 

The problem comes when an omega is forced to face pregnancy alone. Without alpha pheromones from the other parent of their child, or in some cases a non-familial alpha surrogate with whom they have a strong bond, the omega is in a near constant state of distress. Even if their alpha is horrible or abusive, without the pheromones, the omega's needs aren't being met. And the longer they go without, the more stress is put on their body.

Eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and dozens of other complications become exponentially more likely . . .and even for those that don't develop additional complications, the strain of childbirth after months of near-constant stress can prove to be too much. In short, an alphaless pregnancy, is _always_ a high-risk pregnancy."

Matt froze, his breath caught in his chest and his heart pounded frantically against his rib cage. Why hadn't he been told this before? Why hadn't any of the doctors mentioned anything? 

Did Foggy know? Was he choosing to stay away, even though he knew he was endangering his own life, and their child's life too?

"Why didn't Foggy tell . . ."

"He doesn't know."

"What?!"

"To be honest, very few people know . . .they never tell the at-risk omegas for fear of it compounding their stress, and if an omega has an alpha it rarely comes up. They aren't at risk of that particular complication, so it's not a discussion.

The only reason I know, is because like I said, Ed mentioned that he had almost died giving birth to Foggy at one of our OB appointments when he was pregnant with Candace.

I might have become a little agitated when I thought I had risked my omega's life by getting him pregnant without knowing the risks. I demanded to know what had caused my husband's complications the first time, since he didn't seem to know, and how they could be prevented this time . . .and the doctor pulled me into the hall and told me. They wouldn't say what had happened in front of Ed, even years later. . . . . . .

Foggy's been very vague about what happened between the two of you, but a mother can hear what her child isn't saying. 

I don't know what you've gotten yourself into, but it's big . . . Maybe addiction, maybe you owe money to the wrong people, maybe it's something completely different; I'm hoping that I know you well enough that I'm right in assuming it's not abuse . . .but it's something that has Foggy so scared it's going to hurt him and the baby, that he would rather turn you away than risk letting you back in, even though he still loves you, and he's miserable without you."

The words hit Matt like a blow. He stood stunned, unable to form any response. Part of him was offended that Mrs. Nelson could think so lowly of him, but another part knew she was just being a good mother and speaking the truth from her son's perspective as best as she understood it. That thought actually hurt more.

"Matthew, I'm begging you, if you love Foggy the way I think you do, sort this out. Do whatever it takes, to get whatever is going on with you, under control.

Please. Earn back his trust, and don't make him face this alone."

"I'm not sure I can . . . " he admitted hoarsely.

He hated himself for saying it, but he needed to be honest. (He hated himself even more because it was true. He wasn't sure he could earn back Foggy's trust. Even with the stakes this high).

"I know my son is stubborn, but please, please Matt. You have to try. His life could be in danger."

"I'll try, Mrs. Nelson. I promise."

"Thank you."


	16. Chapter 16

"What's wrong, Matty?"

Foggy's voice broke into his thoughts, (when had he awakened from his nap? Matt really should be paying more attention.)

"Nothing."

Matt tried for casual, but knew he missed it by a mile. Especially when Foggy sighed and almost certainly rolled his eyes.

"That wasn't even the least bit convincing. I know your brooding face, Murdock."

"I'm not brooding."

"You are, and you have been since my parents visited . . .what did my mom say to you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, she slipped out while I was talking to my dad, and then the two of you came back into the room together. So she clearly said something to you, and now you're all pensive and moody. . . .did she threatened you?"

_No, she begged. Fierce Anna Nelson pleaded with me, and it was far more frightening than any threat could be._

"Why would you think that?"

"You know why. You're brooding, and my mom is incredibly protective.

Remember how she kept asking you pointed questions the first time I brought you home? 

No matter how many times I told her we were just friends?"

"Yeah. . . She had your sister sit between us most of the night, and asked me what my intentions were a dozen times, like she thought I would suddenly admit to any nefarious plans I had if she just asked enough times . . . although I guess my intentions toward her son weren't nearly as noble and pure as I claimed; since I knocked him up, and all."

"Yeah," Foggy agreed with a half-hearted chuckle, but his voice was strained.

"Foggy? What's wrong? You know I was just joking, right?"

"Yeah," he said, but his voice sounded wet. "I know . . .but I don't want our baby to feel unwanted . . .like when _she_ . . . Never mind. . . . I'm just being silly. . .and a hypocrite, because I said you 'knocked me up' a few days ago."

Matt had no plans of letting this go. Distress hormones poured off of the omega, and he couldn't ignore that.

"If it's making you upset, it's not silly. 

What's wrong, Fog?"

"I don't know if you noticed or not, but I'm pregnant, and everything is making me upset. 

Every other television commercial makes me cry. This morning I got teary because they put raisins in the oatmeal, and I hate raisins. It's just hormones."

"No, it's not. Not this time. Something is wrong. . .What is it?"

"It's really nothing."

"Foggy . . . "

"Okay, well, I guess, for starters, my mom isn't my mom. . . .well, she is, but she's not the one who provided half of my genetic material."

"Okay."

"You don't sound surprised.

How did you know? I never told you . . .you know what, we'll come back to that.

So, I had always thought that Anna Nelson was my mom, but when I was thirteen, all of the sudden this woman showed up at my school, and said that _she_ was my mother."

"What did you do?"

"I ran home, and told my parents about her. 

I figured she was some crazy lady trying to kidnap me or something, but it turns out it was true.

My dad had been in a relationship with this woman, Rosalind, before he met my mom, and he got pregnant. They broke up, she left, and I was born. 

Then my dad met my mom by the time I was six months old, so they didn't really see any need to tell me, because my mom was my mom. At least in all the ways that counted."

"I guess that makes sense."

"It does, but at the time, I was really angry at my parents for lying to me. 

I yelled at them, and then I tried to run out of the house to look for my 'real mom.' I told them I was going to go live with her, because she hadn't lied to me.

It was a stupid plan, but at the time I was really hurt, and I was trying to hurt them back.

Anyway, they stopped me, but only by promising me that they would let me meet her. . .even though it was clear neither of them wanted that.

I found out why when I met her."

"Foggy, what did she do?" Matt asked, (near demanded), with a dangerous edge to his voice.

In the back of his mind, a voice cautioned that maybe he should let Foggy decide whether he wanted to share the details or not, since whatever he was going to say was clearly not good. It also reminded him he should probably tone down the anger in his voice, because he wasn't angry at Foggy, and he shouldn't let there be any confusion about that. That voice, however, was drowned out by the roaring of the devil that wanted to find this woman and hurt her. 

"The . . . The first thing she said was 'oh, it's you,' with same tone you'd use when you got an unwanted gift.

Then she said, 'I was hoping you wouldn't try to find me after yesterday. I think you had the right idea when you left.'

But as naive as I was, I thought she was just nervous, especially since I ran off the first time, so I tried to reassure her that I was just confused, and now that I knew who she was, I wanted to know her, and on and on. You know how I ramble when I'm nervous."

Matt nodded, but stayed quiet to let Foggy continue.

"Then she interrupted me and said, 'Slow down. This is not a reunion. I'm not looking to be a mother. 

I just let my curiosity get the better of me one night when I was drunk, and I looked you up.

It was mistake, much like when I knocked up some loser fourteen years ago, and in both cases I should have known that nothing good could come from it.

So I suggest you do us both a favor, and leave . . .but if you want some advice for the road, get control of your rambling, cut your hair, and lose some weight. It won't guarantee success, but it'll at least give you a chance, no matter how small.

Now be on your way.'"

Matt growled, low and threatening, and Foggy whimpered. Which accomplished the exact opposite of what Matt wanted, since he was anything but angry at Foggy. 

He was angry though. Absolutely livid that anyone would say that to Foggy, much less the alpha who had sired him. Furious that what she had said clearly hurt Foggy so badly he remembered it word for word nearly twenty years later. Enraged that even before her poisonous words, she had almost caused Foggy to be an orphan, or maybe to not even exist at all, by abandoning his father.

A growl was torn from him again, as he thought about how much he hated that woman.

"I ran out of the room crying, right past where my mom was waiting. 

She had been the one who brought me, because she didn't want my dad anywhere near Rosalind," ( _smart woman,_ Matt thought), " . . .and then she charged into Rosalind's office to challenge her, as soon as she saw I was upset.

'What do you think you're doing?!? That's your son out there, have you no decency!' my mom screamed at her.

'That overly eager, puppy dog of a boy is no son of mine! I would never raise a child to be anything like him; he's all yours.

You may not care that the world is going to eat him alive, but I thought he deserved fair warning before he was fed to the wolves,' Rosalind shot back.

'And you're doing what? Taking the first few bites to toughen him up?!?

You know, you're right about one thing, he **is** my son, and no son of yours. So if I **_ever_** find you anywhere near him again, you _will_ regret it.'

'I already do. I regret that I ever slept with Eddy in the first place.'

Then my mom slapped her hard across the face, and sauntered out of the room, pulling me behind her as she passed by me."

"Good. She deserved worse."

"Rosalind tried to press charges, but it never went anywhere. They decided my mom was justified in her actions because she was an alpha protecting her pup."

Matt nodded strongly, "As they should."

"I'd never want to repeat what happened with Rosalind, but it wasn't all bad . . . .When we got home, my mom sat me down, and told me about the first time she met me.

According to her, she had been on three or four dates with my father, and things were going well, but he was nervous, because he had a baby at home. Many alphas don't do well with the reminder an omega has been with another alpha, and never take to a child that isn't theirs, so he insisted that she meet me. He thought that if it wasn't going to work with me, they should know as soon as possible so they could end the relationship early on, and save them both time and heartbreak. She agreed, and came home with him to meet me, and everything changed the second she saw me. 

She said she knew I was hers the moment she laid eyes on me, and she didn't ever want to let me go. Which, I realize she could have said all of that to make me feel better after what happened with Rosalind, but I'd like to believe her. . . .And both she and my dad said that she picked me up, and refused to put me down for hours; just rocking me and staring at me like I was the best thing she had ever seen. Apparently she even growled at my dad when he tried to take me back from her to lay me in my crib for the night."

"I'm sure they're telling the truth, Foggy. 

Your parents love you, and I never would have known Anna wasn't your birth mother if she hadn't told me. You'll always be her beloved 'baby boy,'" Matt reassured.

"She told you?

So that's why you weren't surprised.

When did she tell you?" Foggy questioned. 

Oops. Matt hadn't meant to let that slip. 

It wasn't so much that he had a problem telling Foggy that his mom told Matt that she wasn't Foggy's birth mother, but explaining why, (and Foggy would want to know why), was another story entirely. He couldn't tell him that, ( _". . .they never tell the at-risk omegas for fear of it compounding their stress. . ._ ).

"Yesterday," Matt answered, hoping against hope that Foggy would let it drop.

"So that's what you two were talking about, but then what's the brooding about? 

Something's been bothering you, and I don't think it's that Anna isn't my biological mother. That doesn't really make any difference because she's still my mom.

You might have been upset if you knew what Rosalind did, but you seemed surprised when I told you the story of how I met her, so that had to be new information.

What else did my mom tell you? Why is it making you so upset? And what did it have to do with her not being my biological parent?"

And there it was. Matt knew that Foggy wouldn't just let it be, and the omega was too smart not to start putting some of the pieces together.

What was he going to do?

"She told me to let me know that just because I'm the father of your child doesn't mean I have any claim over you," he lied. "And that I'd clearly done something to lose your trust, so if I don't shape up, you'll find another mate . . .and I don't like the idea of you with another alpha, or really another anyone."

"Matt . . ." Foggy sighed, a hint of exasperation slipping through.

"Foggy, I know I might not have any right to be jealous or territorial, but in my heart, I consider you to be my mate. You're the only one for me.

I'll accept it if you choose to be with someone else, because you're allowed to make your own choices, but I'll never like it."

Matt found he meant every word. Interesting how a lie led to him being so brutally honest.

"Good to know," Foggy replied, but his level voice was too calculatingly neutral; he was clearly covering some big emotion, but Matt was too raw and confused to discern what it was.


	17. Chapter 17

Matt had Foggy so confused. 

As if there hadn't been enough ups and downs between them since Daredevil jumped into the alley and saved Foggy's life, (all the arguments and revelations, the nostalgic reminiscences, the one-sided decisions, and the desperate clutching at Foggy's hand), Matt had to double down.

 

_. . . .in my heart, I consider you to be my mate. . . ._

Ten simple words, spoken with such sincerity, and Foggy had no idea how to respond . . .or rather, he knew what he wanted to do, which was say "me too," kiss Matt breathless, and forget all the complications between them in favor of just hoping they could work everything out as they moved forward, (because they'd be moving forward together!).

It would be easy. Foggy still loved Matt. He still felt the hole in his heart that seemed suspiciously Matt-shaped. Letting Matt back in would feel like coming home; like being complete again, but Foggy knew that charging ahead wasn't wise.

There were still many things they had to talk about, many things they needed to decide. Pretending their problems weren't there wouldn't make them disappear. At the same time, that didn't mean they couldn't move forward. Just maybe at a more slow, cautious pace.

His first opportunity to extend an olive branch came the following morning.

"Matt, give me your hand," he whispered excitedly.

The alpha complied almost instantly, and Foggy led the proffered hand to his lower abdomen.

Matt stilled for a moment as his hand was pressed into place, and then an awed grin spread across his face.

"Is that . . . ."

"Our baby. Strong, right? Definitely gets that from you."

"Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Every once in a while it'll get uncomfortable for a second or two, but for the most part it's amazing. . . .you know, tangible proof that there's a little life growing inside of me."

"It is pretty amazing," Matt agreed, and then he leaned forward and kissed Foggy's forehead. "And you're amazing too, Fog."

"You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Murdock."

It was a real bonding moment, and Foggy thought they had finally turned a corner, but . . . 

Matt growled at the lab tech.

"Can't you do your job without manhandling the patients? There's no need to be so rough."

"I'm just trying to find a good vein."

"And you'll be able to do that by twisting his arm out of its socket?"

"Matt," Foggy sighed. "He's not grabbing onto me that hard; please just let the man do his job."

"So he can leave bruises all up and down your arms, miss the vein the first time, and have to stick you twice like last time?"

"Matt . . ."

The technician tried to insert the needle, but in his nervousness, missed the vein.

"I'm just saying, the hospital shouldn't put up with this incompetence. I could find a vein faster, and insert a needle with more accuracy, and I'm blind!"

By the time the blood draw was successfully completed, Matt was screaming and snarling, the tech was in tears, and Foggy was more than a little exasperated.

The alpha was so infuriating! He never knew when to let things be, and he kept making things worse by making everyone around them nervous or defensive.

That said, when Foggy was feeling wrung-out from morning sickness, or any of the other less than joyous parts of pregnancy, there was nothing that made him feel better quite like being held by Matt. 

Wrapped up in the alpha's strong arms, his face buried deep into the crook of Matt's neck, he felt centered and balanced in a way he couldn't seem to achieve through any other means.

Matt was very accommodating about it too. All Foggy had to do was ask, or even start to ask, and he was right there. Always ready to help, and tenderly asking what Foggy needed.

"I think you must have some sort of magic," Foggy commented jokingly, one of the times he was wrapped up in Matt's arms. "I tried everything before, but nothing seemed to help my morning sickness. Yet somehow you make me feel better just by holding me. . . .what's your secret? Are you a wizard?"

"You caught me, Fog," Matt joked back, but it seemed half-hearted, (he also seemed nervous and a little distracted, but that could have just been Foggy's imagination).

He held Foggy's hand when he needed to know someone was there, and placed gentle kisses on Foggy's forehead whenever he wasn't feeling good. He smuggled Foggy bagels, and ate any raisins that found their way onto Foggy's tray.

He was being so attentive and sweet that Foggy almost forgot . . . .

"Who are you?" Matt growled; jumping to his feet and standing between the door and Foggy, as a woman entered the room and started to walk toward the bed.

"I'm Tanya, and I'm here on my rounds. I'll only be a few minutes," she said pleasantly, but there was a slightly nervous edge to her placating tone.

She was in her late thirties, smiling, plain, and slightly soft in the middle the way many omegas are after having two or three children. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail, and she wore floral scrubs and comfortable shoes. Her ID badge was prominently displayed near the neck of her scrubs, and nothing about her seemed at all threatening to Foggy. . . . Not that you would know that based on Matt's reaction.

She tried to approach Foggy again, but Matt snarled and bared his teeth, stopping her in her tracks.

"I know it's hard when your mate is pregnant. My alpha hardly let me do anything more than sit in a chair when I was expecting, but I promise I'm only here to help your omega, and make sure he's healing up nicely.

I just need to check Franklin's bandages, and record his pulse, respiration rate, temperature, and blood pressure. Nothing I'm going to do will hurt him," she tried to soothe, holding up her hands in front of her.

"Matt, just let her do her job," Foggy pleaded.

"You're new. I've never met you before," Matt commented, refusing to move from his spot.

"I'm a float nurse. I go wherever they need me, and tonight they needed more support on this floor."

"The same nurse has been on shift every night. Where is he tonight?"

"Tomás? It's his night off. That's why I'm here."

"How long have you worked here?"

"Ten years."

"Have you ever harmed a patient?"

"Never!"

"And you wouldn't consider it, even if someone offered to pay you good money? Even though you have three young children at home?"

"I would never . . .wait, how did you know I have three kids?"

"No, you're too ethical to take a bribe," Matt mused to himself. ". . .but you'd do anything to keep your kids safe. If someone threatened your children . . ."

"Matt!" 

" . . .you'd do anything, including hurt someone you were supposed to be caring for."

"Are you threatening my children?!"

"Of course not, but has someone else threatened them?"

"What is wrong with you?! I'm reporting you to security!" Tanya called as she stormed out of the room.

"What was all that about, Matt?" Foggy sighed.

"She wasn't your regular nurse, she didn't announce herself, and she smelled nervous," Matt explained, as if that somehow made his behavior completely acceptable.

"She told you it's his night off, she knocked before she came in, her hospital ID badge was in plain sight . . ."

"Guess I didn't _SEE_ it."

" . . . .AND she smelled nervous because you threatened her pretty much the moment she walked through door, before you even gave her the chance to say who she was, which she _did_ as soon as you asked!"

Matt sat down grumbling about how she still seemed suspicious to him, and Foggy wondered what he was going to do about Matt. Displays like what had just happened were becoming more and more common. The alpha seemed to suspect everyone of trying to hurt Foggy, and threatening seemed to have become his default setting. Most staff tried to steer clear of them, and Foggy couldn't blame them.

The alpha was out of control, but Foggy had no idea how to stop him. He begged, but Matt ignored his pleas. He appealed to him, citing the stress-induced strain the outbursts caused, but that was only met by brooding silence but no change in behavior. He even cried, yelled and scolded, but nothing seemed to make any difference.

The only thing that seemed to make any impact at all on the alpha, was when Foggy threatened to kick Matt out after one of the doctors left in tears only five minutes into her examination. Suddenly, he became very apologetic, and pleaded with Foggy to let him stay, making promises to be better in the future.

Foggy highly doubted that Matt would be stopping his overprotective creep act anytime soon, but the omega found he was powerless to deny the alpha's pleas. Especially when he looked so terrified at the idea of being separated from Foggy. 

He only hoped the hospital didn't take the decision out of his hands. He also hoped that things would stop being such a rollercoaster ride with Matt, but he wasn't holding his breath on that one. The oxygen depravation would probably damage his brain if he tried.


	18. Chapter 18

Anna and Brett's warnings played on an endless cycle in Matt's head over the next few days. They completely terrified him, and made it nearly impossible for him to bring himself to leave Foggy; even for short periods of time. 

Whenever possible he maintained physical contact with him. Holding his hand nearly constantly. Brushing his hair out of his face. Patting his arm or shoulder. Any excuse to touch him really; to be _sure_ he was safe, and solid, and _alive_.

He also may or may not have growled at a few nurses, doctors, and lab techs that had the nerve to go near Foggy without first identifying themselves, or were entirely too rough in their tasks. Foggy scolded him about that, but it seemed well worth it to Matt.

Matt's ramped up protectiveness was in no way helped by the nightmares that plagued the small snatches of sleep he managed to steal.

~~~~

_Matt ran across the rooftops, as the sounds of Foggy being attacked echoed in his ears just as clearly as they had on that terrible night. Only this time, he didn't get there fast enough. The distance seeming to increase with each step he took forward._

_This time, the alley was silent when he arrived. No attacking thugs. No racing twin heartbeats. Just the smell of too much blood. Just the fading flame of a too still figure, sprawled on the ground, that Matt couldn't bring himself to touch. Not even to say good-bye._

~~~~

_Foggy hummed to himself as he puttered around his apartment, smelling peaceful and sleepy. ___

_Then, his nightly routine was broken by the sound of shattering glass._

__

__

_His heartbeat started to race a frantic staccato. He edged toward the broken window with a baseball bat clutched tightly in his grip, his startled voice crying out in surprise, followed by a single gunshot echoing through the apartment with finality; leaving only maddening silence._

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~~~~

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_A two am trip to the bodega for ice cream interrupted by a twitchy man with a knife._

_Suddenly, a dozen hearts were racing with fear-induced adrenaline, including a far too familiar one that stepped forward._

_"You don't have to do this . . . There has to be another way . . . Walk away, and I'll try to help . . ." was pleaded desperately, voice strong and kind, even as the heartbeats underneath it pounded in fear . . but the words went unheeded._

_The robber showed no mercy, and instead he ended two lives, and Matt's whole world, as he plunged his knife into the very heart that attempted to show him compassion._

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~~~~

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_"Who is the Devil of Hell's Kitchen?"_

_The question was boomed as a threat through the air, echoing and repeating, and followed by a heavy blow each time it was met with silence. And that's all it's ever met with . . .Silence, that to Matt's ears is a horrific cacophony of gasped breaths, swallowed pained moans, and the chaotic drumming that's trying desperately to keep its owner alive to deny the request once more._

_Silence that goes from defiant to inevitable, as the prolonged beating leads to a more absolute silence, and robs the victim of the opportunity of ever answering the question._

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~~~~

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_Pained screams and the chaotic beep of a monitor cut through the air, and almost covered the hushed whisper of a doctor._

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_"If we don't get this baby out soon, we'll lose them both."_

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_The proclamation is met with somber silence for a split second, before a nurse continued to speak encouragement._

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_"Almost there. Keep going. You're almost there."_

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_**Waaah!**_

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_"It's a girl!"_

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_An exhausted sigh, let out too shakily, and then the shrill scream of the monitor's alarm._

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_Chaos._

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_Everyone worked in a flurry to push back death, but to no avail._

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_The ominous drone of a flatline._

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_"The poor dear. I'll never understand how some alphas can be so selfish; leaving their pregnant omegas. . . .such a waste! One life gone, and another left all alone in this world, before she's even an hour old!"_

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~~~~

Each nightmare was worse than the last. An endless loop of Foggy suffering, of Foggy dying. All because Matt wasn't there, wasn't fast enough, wasn't strong enough, wasn't _good_ enough to stop it.

He began to despair of ever being the alpha Foggy needed, and his lack of sleep only worsened his judgment and compounded his desperation.

He became more and more aggressive with the staff. Snarling at them, and grilling them with questions before he let them anywhere near Foggy. 

He refused to leave Foggy at all, staying by his side like a tightly-wound guard dog, and nothing Foggy said or did, (from softly asking "what's wrong, Matty?", to outright screaming at him to "stop being an insane, overprotective creep!", to tearful pleading), seemed to make a difference.

The hospital was ready to ban Matt, and he was preparing himself for a fight, (he wasn't going to leave quietly), but thankfully it didn't come to that.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Matt, do you want to get lunch with me?" Claire called from the doorway. "The cafeteria food isn't great, but it's better than nothing."

Matt shook his head.

"I can't leave Foggy alone."

"You need to eat, and it won't be for long. I'll be fine," Foggy chimed in.

"But-" 

"Hello, sweetheart!" Mrs. Nelson greeted as she made a beeline for Foggy.

"How're you feeling, son?" inquired Mr. Nelson.

"What do you know, Foggy's parents are here," Claire whispered quietly, clearly for Matt's ears only, as Foggy and his parents started up a conversation. "He won't be alone. Come on."

He remained stubbornly seated.

"Come on, Murdock! You can't tell me you don't trust his parents!"

Her voice never rose above a whisper, but her exasperation was clear.

"They'll keep him safe, now let's go! Don't they deserve some time alone with their son?"

Matt nodded reluctantly and let himself be led out of the room.

"You knew the Nelsons were here, didn't you?" 

"I might have seen them get out of the elevator down the hall . . . And I knew you wouldn't leave Foggy unless they were with him while you were gone."

Matt grunted an acknowledgement.

"So why is it so important that we get lunch?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"About how you're being an overprotective asshole."

"That seems a little harsh."

"You've made four nurses, two lab techs, and three doctors cry!"

"They-"

"Everyone is terrified of you! They're bribing and blackmailing each other just to avoid ever having to set foot in Foggy's room.

You need to get yourself under control.

They're considering banning you from the hospital-"

"I'd like to see them try!"

Th words were growled as a clear threat, and his body went taut as if expecting a fight. He tightened his jaw, his face harsh and angry, and at his sides his hands balled into fists.

"-that! That right there is what I'm talking about! 

You look like you're about two seconds away from punching someone. Probably multiple someones."

"I'll do whatever I need to, to protect Foggy."

"What about protecting him from you?!

Foggy's been getting more and more agitated by your increasingly erratic behavior, and his care is suffering because no one wants to be around you!"

That statement stopped Matt dead in his tracks, and Claire came to a stop beside him.

"What?"

"You haven't noticed how upset he is, or that a nurse only checks in with Foggy every six to eight hours, despite the fact that there are hourly rounds?"

"I thought . . ."

"Foggy was supposed to have an ultrasound yesterday, but it got postponed because the tech refused to do it while you were there."

Matt swallowed hard.

"Claire, I . . ."

"I know you mean well, Matt, but you need to tone it down. What you're doing isn't protecting Foggy; if anything, it's endangering him. His blood pressure has been sky high the last few times they actually managed to measure it before you drove them out."

Claire started walking again, and Matt followed her in silence.

The pair made their way through the cafeteria line, and sat down at a table before either of them spoke again.

"Why do I keep hurting him?" Matt asked brokenly. "Everything I do seems to hurt him. . .why can't I do anything right-"

"Matt, you're not-"

"You said I was endangering him, Claire. That his blood pressure's too high, and he's not getting what he needs, because I keep getting in the way.

That's hurting him."

"I just meant that you're scaring off the people who are trying to help him, and you're scaring him too. I know that's not what you want.

That's why you _need_ to get control of yourself.

Try snarling and hovering less, and trusting the staff more. They're just trying to do their jobs. Let them do what they need to do to help Foggy."

"But . . .what if they're not trying to help? What if they're trying to hurt him?"

"Why would they do that?"

"Apparently one of the men who attacked Foggy overheard him telling a certain vigilante he was having his baby, and then that man blabbed the information to anyone who would listen in his holding cell . . .so now, who-knows-how-many members of the criminal element of Hell's Kitchen may want to hurt Foggy to get revenge."

"What? How did you hear about that?"

"Foggy's friend Sergeant Mahoney came by to warn him." 

"Okay, so you think that someone might try to infiltrate the hospital and come after him?"

Matt nodded somberly.

"And your way of dealing with that, is to terrorize every single staff member in the hospital that goes anywhere near Foggy, on the off-chance they might be secretly working for a criminal organization?"

He nodded again.

"Matt, that's insane! 

If you treat everyone like they're a possible criminal you're going to piss off a lot of people. A lot of people that Foggy needs to help him with his recovery.

Besides, don't you think you'd notice some sort of tell if someone was here who wasn't supposed to be?

Wouldn't they, I don't know, smell wrong, or be sending off internal signals of nervousness you could sense, or something?

There has to be a better way than giving everyone the third degree."

"But what if I miss something?! 

What if I don't notice that they don't belong until it's too late?!"

"Matt . . ."

"Claire, I know I sound paranoid, but we're talking about the safety of my mate and my unborn child. . .please, try to understand."

"I understand how much they mean to you, but Matt, don't borrow trouble."

"Right, because I've already created enough on my own! 

I mean, if I'm not scaring Foggy and driving off the people trying to help him, I'm lying to him and making him think he doesn't matter to me, or I'm making him a target for the criminal classes of Hell's Kitchen, or I'm endangering his life with a high-risk pregnancy!"

"Matt, I know you're a 'weight-of-the-world-on-his-shoulders' type, but I don't really think you can blame yourself for . . ."

"For what? Lying to him? 

I lied to him for years. Everyday of our friendship, I was lying by omission. All while I knew every lie he told . . and then, I even told him that I loved him and took him to bed with me, all while still keeping secrets from him. 

Are you saying that's not my fault?"

"Matt . . ."

"Or maybe you mean the part about making him a target for criminals?

The part where I didn't make sure his attackers were unconscious so they didn't overhear anything, and tell every lowlife in the entire city that they know the man in the mask's weakness? 

Or even, if you forget that, the part where I've been making him a target ever since I started doing all of this. . .He's the person I love most in the world. If they ever figure out who I am, they'll go straight for him!"

"Matt . . ."

"Or maybe the part where I got him pregnant, and then wasn't there for the first four months!

Foggy's mom told me how dangerous it is for an omega to go through pregnancy without an alpha, and yet no matter what I do, I only seem to make him warier of me, and more and more likely to push me away and do it alone. . . More and more likely to do one of the very things that could endanger him and our baby!

In fact, he threatened to have me banned yesterday! I had to beg him to let me stay!

. . .but he says I make him feel better just by holding him, so . . . ."

"Matt . . ."

"I know you can't mean raising his blood pressure by scaring him with my 'erratic behavior,' and driving off the staff, because you were the one who confronted me about that . . .so tell me exactly, which part of this isn't my fault?!"

Claire sighed.

"I can't lose him, Claire," he stated in a shaky whisper. "But there are so many ways I could, and every time I close my eyes . . . ."

"Nightmares?"

Matt nodded miserably.

"He dies, Claire. Every time I close my eyes, I have to witness him dying . . . .he goes home alone to his apartment and some hitman shoots him, or he's in the wrong place, at the wrong time, alone, or he tries to go through his pregnancy alone and he's not strong enough to survive labor . . . . I just can't, I can't let any of them happen."

"Then don't . . .but the way you're going to do that isn't by being so aggressively overprotective you drive everyone away. That'll only ensure you drive him away too.

You know people could be trying to hurt him, so keep vigilant, look for anyone or anything out of place or suspicious, but trust your instincts. Some people truly are trying to help.

He needs you right now, because he's pregnant and vulnerable, so be there for him, but don't smother him. He's still a grown man, and he can still make his own decisions.

Moderation is important, Matt . . .and most importantly of all, when you start to worry like this, _talk_ to Foggy-"

"But I can't-"

"What? Burden him with your worries? Matt, you can't carry that weight all by yourself-"

"I-"

"-Not without it affecting your judgment.

Foggy is your partner. You're in this together, and if you truly consider him your equal, he should know what's going on."

"But he's pregnant. He's more vulnerable than usual, and I shouldn't be adding stress to . . ."

"Matt, you already are. The way you're responding to your worry already is causing him stress. Don't you think he'd rather know what's bothering you than have to guess when you lash out?"

"I guess you're right, Claire."

"Damn right, I am."

They finished eating in silence, but this time it was easier and more companionable. 

Not another word was spoken between them until Claire dropped him off by the door of Foggy's room.

"Now go take care of that man of yours," she whispered. "But don't forget to let him take care of you too."


	19. Chapter 19

"I think you should ask for a different doctor," Matt commented.

"Why's that?" Foggy questioned warily.

He liked Dr. Hasimani. She was gentle, she always spoke directly to _him_ instead of ignoring him in favor of Matt, and she was always smiling. 

Foggy understood that Matt was protective of him. He even understood why he had been so _over_ protective, once the alpha explained his worries; but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what bothered Matt about the kind physician who had just finished examining Foggy.

"While she was examining you, her heart-"

Foggy sighed in exasperation.

"You were listening to my doctor's heartbeat?! Matt-"

"She was listening to yours!"

"Yeah, because that's her job! 

She's a doctor, who was using a stethoscope to listen to my heart for diagnostic purposes, while I was fully aware she was doing it. Not some creep secretly listening in on my bodily functions to spy on me!"

"I'm the creep?! Not the alpha doctor who's using her position as an excuse to fondle an omega patient who she's attracted to?!?"

"What?! There was no attraction, no fondling, nothing at all like that going on!"

Of course the doctor needed to touch him! That was part of the job! Intentional, purposeful, clinical touches. No flirting, no fondling. Matt was clearly mistaken.

"Trust me, Fog. Her heart was pitter-pattering like a love-struck teenager throughout the examination. . .and it spiked when she opened your gown to check your bandages, and every time she touched you . . . Plus she was radiating extra warmth like she was flushing the whole time, _and_ she let her touch linger every time she made contact . . . "

"I'm sure you're mistaken, Matt. There are plenty of perfectly reasonable, and far more likely, explanations for that than her being attracted to me."

"Like what?"

"Like maybe she's attracted to _you_."

"That doesn't make any sense. She was letting her touch linger on _your_ skin because she's attracted to _me_?!"

"Maybe she kept getting distracted by how incredibly hot you are." 

"I don't think so. 

She seemed pretty focused on you.

Besides, she and I are both alphas, and alphas don't usually date other alphas . . ."

"You and Elektra-"

"-were a perfect example of why alpha pairs don't happen very often."

"Maybe she wasn't attracted to either of us, and she was just nervous?

You can be pretty intimidating. . .and you have quite the reputation in the hospital.

Maybe she felt the pressure of your scrutiny . . .or maybe she was worried about what she would do if something was wrong?

I don't imagine doctors ever like giving people bad news, but they must be terrified by the thought of telling you there's something wrong with your omega."

"'My omega'?" Matt repeated, his face lighting up like he was a kid on Christmas morning.

Of course, leave it to him to focus on that, when Foggy was trying to make a point. Matt really could be a possessive dork sometimes.

"That's not the point! The point is that nervousness is a far more likely explanation than her being attracted to an omega who's already pregnant with another alpha's child. 

I'm 'used goods,' or 'sloppy seconds,' or whatever. Most alphas don't like to share."

"She was attracted to you. 

Believe me, when someone's heart races because of attraction it doesn't sound the same as nervousness. I know what I heard."

Foggy made a noncommittal noise.

"Besides, your mom fell for an omega who had another alpha's child," Matt hastened to add.

"Yeah, but not while he was pregnant."

"I don't think it would have made a difference. . . I know I would be attracted to you no matter whose child you were carrying."

"But you knew me before I got pregnant. . .and this _is_ your baby. . .and while we're at it, your attraction to me is not based on my physical appearance, because if it was, you wouldn't be attracted to me at all. . .in fact, I'm still not sure why you're attracted to me. 

All of your other conquests have been hot as hell, which I am not . . .Which, incidentally, is why my doctor is not attracted to me, because I _am_ _**not**_ _attractive_. 

I wasn't before, and I'm even less attractive now that I'm all swollen and bloated from pregnancy. And if it weren't enough that I'm essentially a blimp, I now have some nasty bruising and knife wounds on top of everything for good measure," Foggy finished bitterly.

Shit. He hadn't meant to say that . . .and he was starting to cry. Perfect. Great. Why? Why did he have no control over himself? Why was he just airing his insecurities like that? 

"Foggy . . ." Matt whispered in stunned shock.

"Just let it go, Matty. . . Let's just pretend we never had this conversation. I think that would probably be best," he pleaded desperately, as he tried to keep his tears from falling.

Matt shook his head, and bundled up Foggy in his arms, shushing him and rocking him like a child. 

Foggy couldn't decide if that was sweet or patronizing, but he couldn't hold back his tears either, so he let himself cry into Matt's chest, all while feeling slightly ridiculous.

After only a couple minutes, he tried to pull back from Matt's hold, but the alpha's grip tightened.

"Please?" he whispered beseechingly, running his hands soothingly over the omega's back. "Fog, I'm so sorry. I never meant to . . ."

"Like I said, we should forget it. . . .chalk it up to hormones or whatever. I'm just feeling a little insecure. No big deal. I'm fine . . . ."

"I can't forget it. Foggy, you have no reason to feel insecure. You're by far the hottest person I've ever dated."

"Maybe if you're talking about temperature," Foggy muttered.

"Foggy . . ."

Matt looked stricken, and Foggy knew he had miscalculated, so he raised his hands in surrender and tried to backpedal.

"Sorry! Putting the snark away. I'm fine. I didn't mean anything by it. Just a slight lack of brain to mouth filter."

"Foggy, you're beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous; and I hate to think that you might feel like you're anything less than beautiful both outside and in."

"Matt, you can't know that," Foggy replied sadly, when he realized Matt wasn't going to drop it. "You've never _seen_ me . . .and believe me buddy, those who have, have made it more than clear that I'm nothing special to look at. . . .Which is fine. It really is. Looks aren't everything. . .it's just really hard to hear you tell me I'm hot, or beautiful, or that people are attracted to me, when I _know_ it's not true." 

"I might not be able to _see_ you, at least not in the traditional sense, but I _can_ be attracted to you. . . .everything about you, Foggy, draws me in like a moth to a flame. 

Back in college? When you asked me what I was looking for, and I said 'someone I really like listening to'? I was talking about you. I know I tried to pass it off as a joke, but I was serious.

That's what I wanted then, and it's still what I want now. You, and the way you fill my senses.

I can't get enough of your smell. Strawberries and cream shampoo, and your natural brown sugar and cinnamon scent with just a hint of musk, all topped with just the slightest hint of sweat. It smells like home, and reminds me that I finally belong somewhere.

Then there's the warmth and give of your body when I touch you. The gentle yielding that feels like every part of you is welcoming me.

I don't care what anyone else says. I've mapped out every inch of your body; learned it through touch, and I wouldn't change a thing. I've "seen" enough to know that you're stunning. I could touch you forever, and it wouldn't be enough.

Finally, there's the way you sound, and I wasn't lying; that's my favorite part.

Your voice is soothing and musical, and I could listen to it for hours. Especially when what you say is peppered with laughter. I love how you talk about everything, and nothing, and I hope you keep doing that for as long as we live.

The sound of your hair against your collar, or your skin rubbing against your clothes, is distracting like a siren's call. It makes me want to run my fingers through the silky smoothness of your hair, and run my hands all over your soft skin.

Then, there's your heartbeat. The steady thrum of your life weaving through it all like the most beautiful song I've ever heard. It's intoxicating.

Even your snoring is beautiful, because it means you've trusted me enough to fall asleep around me.

Put it all together, and _attractive_ is the only word that comes to mind to describe you. I'm drawn to you like a magnet."

"Matty . . . " he breathed in disbelief. "I don't know what to say."

"Say that you believe me. That you know that I'm not pitying you, or lying to spare your feelings.

No one who I've ever dated, or even met, lights up my senses like you do; so it's not an exaggeration to say you're the hottest person I know."

"I believe you." 

"Good," Matt affirmed with a nod, reaching out to draw Foggy closer and . . . 

"Are you scent-marking me?" Foggy asked incredulously.

"You said you were 'my omega,' right? 

How else will all of the other alphas know to keep their hands to themselves!?" Matt questioned innocently.

"You're ridiculous!"

Foggy tried to sound disapproving, but Matt looked too cute and earnest for him to pull it off, and he started laughing instead.

Matt joined him in laughter, clinging to the omega and grinning.

"You love me anyway . . ."

Once upon a time, such jokes had been common place for them, (Foggy really should have figured out that Matt felt the same way about him _years_ earlier), but now what had once been thrown out flippantly made Foggy tense momentarily, before he forced himself to relax again.

They were moving forward, right? 

"I do," Foggy admitted in a strained whisper. "I really do."

He squeezed his eyes shut after he spoke the words, and took a careful breath, hoping he had made the right choice. He hadn't really said anything he hadn't said before, and his words were true, but it still felt significant. Like a commitment; a leap of faith forward in their relationship.

He slowly opened his eyes, and found Matt studying him with soft features and his head cocked to the side.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" he started hesitantly as his brows creased and his shoulders fell.

"No, it's fine," Foggy rushed to reassure.

"No, it's not. I'm making you nervous. The way your heart is pounding . . ."

Foggy felt his heart do some sort of strange, stuttery jump at the mention of it, and the concerned look on Matt's face and the way he cocked his head even further to the side, meant Matt had heard it too.

"Foggy?"

'Are you okay?' hung unspoken in the air between them.

"I'm fine . . . "

Matt gave him a dubious look.

"I am. I'm just not used to the whole hearing heartbeats thing. . .it'll take some processing to come to terms with you being able to hear my heart pretty much all the time . . .it's just a lot to . . ." he trailed off, unsure where to go with that particular thought.

"Of course," Matt said, but it sounded strained . . .and uh-oh, his brow was furrowing again, and his face was falling, and Foggy was looking at a very sad Matthew Murdock who was valiantly, (but ultimately futilely, since Foggy knew him too well), trying to put on a brave face.

Foggy needed to fix this.

To be honest, it was disconcerting to think that Matt could hear his heartbeat. It felt . . .intimate. Foggy himself had only heard the heartbeat of a select few. His parents. Marci. Matt. People he loved and cared about, who had let him be close in a tender moment. Add his little sister and medical personnel to the list, and you rounded out all of the people who had heard his heartbeat, (that he knew of; were there others like Matt?).

All of which _should_ mean it **wasn't** weird. He'd heard Matt's heartbeat, and he knew Matt had heard his, even before he knew about his super senses. They were close. They'd spooned and cuddled before, so it was bound to happen, but now that Foggy knew they didn't have to be in contact for Matt to hear his heart, he felt oddly vulnerable. Almost like he was on display; flayed open and exposed in front of Matt. . .but he wasn't anymore on display than anyone else, right?

Hearing heartbeats was Matt's normal. Maybe if he tried to see it from his perspective it would seem less weird.

"Foggy? What are you thinking?"

Matt's tentative voice broke into Foggy's thoughts.

"Matty, I'm realizing that I've been really unfair."

"What do you mean?"

A frown had overtaken the alpha's face.

"I mean, I've been thinking about things the wrong way, and it hasn't been fair to you.

For example, for me to hear someone's heartbeat, I'd have to press my ear to their chest, which is a pretty intimate gesture . . .or I guess I could use a stethoscope, but I don't just have one laying around, and even if I did, I'd still have to touch them to use it, which still makes it a little bit intimate, but that's beside the point . . .my point is, I was so stuck in my own perspective that I immediately dismissed you being able to hear a heartbeat from across the room as weird and invasive, without thinking about your side of it.

You can hear everybody's heartbeat, and you do it without ever having to touch them, so your perspective on heartbeats is bound to be different. . . . I should have given you a chance to explain . . . I'd like to now, if you're willing . . . . I want to try to better understand how you "see" the world."

Matt paused for moment, as if contemplating if this were a trap, before he answered.

"What do you want to know?"

Matt seemed hesitant at first, but as they continued their conversation he relaxed, and even seemed to get excited about explaining his 'world on fire' to Foggy. By the end, Matt was beaming, and Foggy couldn't help but feel like things were finally going in the right direction for them.


End file.
